I had a meltdown this morning at our 4 am feed. Everything was going fine until my haka fell off of my boob and spilled 4 ounces of milk all over the bed. It wasn’t the fact that all milk spilled that put me over the edge it was the fact that I couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards and had to start my day at 4 am with laundry. I put the baby down and I had to walk away to calm myself down. I already only got 4 hours of sleep up to that point. I was sticky and full of milk and spit up in my hair. My husband came to find me on the couch crying my eyes out because I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore i was done being a sahm and breast feeding. I gathered my thoughts and went back to finish feeding him but he kept unlatching and crying non stop at that point I was crying non stop too asking him what’s wrong as if he could tell me. Finally after 10 min of screaming I yelled “just be quiet already!” Instant regret because how could I yell at someone who has no idea why he’s being yelled at. He made the saddest face and stopped crying, I was relieved to not have crying in my ear anymore but now I felt terrible that I lost control and yelled. I’ve never done this before no matter how bad I wanted too I always told myself to just hug him and cuddle him when I feel like giving up. But today I lost control and I feel terrible I feel like he dsnt want me and I scared him so bad he won’t love me anymore. I’ve been crying all day thinking about how I might have ruined my babies emotions 😔