Idk what to do 😞

Hey guys so currently 11 weeks and two days pregnant I am due on January 1, literally New Year’s and the father of my unborn child is honestly one of the most meanest person ever ever since I told him that I was pregnant. We’ve been on and off talking for about a year but this year 2021 is when we decided to become sexually intimate and romantic with one another; shortly after that unfortunately I got pregnant really fast. I got Pregnant April 10th I know the exact day lol. Once I found out I was super scared because I have a 16 month old son so they will be less than two years apart. Once I did tell him he told me that he wanted me to get an abortion and that he actually has a girlfriend at home that he’s been hiding for me the entire time. I’ve never felt so stupid and disgusted in my life but I can’t lie I am really attached to my baby.

I sat down and talk to my mother and my two older brothers to get some advice on the situation and My mother and my oldest brother said that they support me on either decision that I choose but they both think that maybe an abortion is the best way to go since I’m already a single mom to my 1st child And taking care of two kids on my own under the age of two will be a lot for myself and they don’t want me to struggle and I completely understand what they’re saying. My other brother is more aggressive with his opinion about me getting a abortion because he knows the guy and doesn’t feel like he would be a good man or will be there for my child so I completely understand how all of my family feels and the advice that they’re giving me because they want the best for me. Honestly as I write this I’m tearing up because regardless of the matter I really do love my child so much and I feel like if I do have them I’m being selfish bringing them into this world when their other parent doesn’t love them.

Yesterday I called my child’s father and told him that I made the decision to keep my baby and then he flipped a whole switch on me saying that how he doesn’t know me like that and that he hopes me and my baby dies 😞 I really don’t know how to feel. Maybe just getting an abortion is the best thing to do but I love my baby and I feel that if I do that I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life But I also feel tgaty if I have it I’m going to be bullied terrorized and alone for having my child. I literally hate myself because I don’t understand how I keep getting myself in this type of situations. I really thought this man was different since he does have other children that he is there for. I just don’t understand why nobody could ever love my kids the way I do 😞

I’m so sad and depressed I don’t know what to do & I feel soooo bad about feeling like that about my own baby.

I’m sorry for the long post I just needed to vent and get some advice from some ladies that are actually pregnant or potentially been in the same situation that I’m currently going through & they can give me some clarity.