no honeymoon stage

I’ve known him for 4 months, been with him officially for 1 month, and I’ve never had a honeymoon phase.

I know I’ve had a day or so spread out within the months but I haven’t felt like I’ve been lifted.

He doesn’t have much energy as me and he doesn’t express how he feels through actions or words. it’s hard to read him. And it eats at me.

I feel depressed. I haven’t been treated right before and I’m not sure if I am now.

I tried to tell him how I feel and how I need him to show or tell me, but I feel guilty bc it makes him feel like he’s done something wrong, again. (I’ve brought it up more than once, but I always reassure him his doing okay and it’s just me that needs to learn. Even tho it’s now how I actually feel)

I don’t know how to confront this. Or how to even say how I feel, I don’t want him to be mad at me

I’ve learnt that I’m just attached. My best friend tells me that I’m not myself, and I know she doesn’t want me to be with him, but she said she’s going to support me.

I don’t know what to do...