What did you go through after giving birth that people dont talk about enough?

Question

Hello mommy’s!! I’ve been watching teen mom out of curiosity today and I saw this young girl, who was 17, in labor for over 18 hrs and the baby wasn’t moving for a long time and at one point got stuck (the drs also didn’t believe her when she first said she felt like the baby was stuck)so she had to sit there and push for hours and hours in pain. She had a successful delivery and the baby was fine in the end, but while watching I just felt like that moment was so traumatic for her! I couldn’t even imagine how she was feeling in that moment.. I feel going through that would be traumatizing for anyone. I’ve never viewed pregnancy as something that could be traumatic till now. It really made me think about how there’s so many things that people don’t talk or teach you about child birth and how it really affects your overall health. If there’s things you experienced or know that you feel like people should be more educated about please share!

Answer

I think people don’t talk enough about the pressure to breastfeed and how common it is for it not to work. Some lactation consultants are very aggressive and pushy about it and it adds to the pressure for new, emotional moms. They are lactation experts but they aren’t experts on you or your baby. You can say no to them and you can not take their advice and you can decide not to breastfeed if it’s what’s best for your family.

Answer

- My child was almost a preemie and I had no idea what to do about it, what things should I watch closely and that she needs to catch up  the 2 weeks 
- the fourth trimester
- the hormones which can be both very nice and a hell on some days...
- breastfeeding is beautiful but it's a hard work as well 
- people say about sleep... but I didn't take it seriously... maybe they should talk more?
- the feelings - and here I mean that you don't have to fall in love with the baby from the first moment or week, you can be pissed of when it cries and cries all the time, you can be anxious a lot, you can feel helpless, hopeless, inacurate, overwhelmed as a parent, you can feel both invisible and put on a spot at the same time
- for the first weeks- I had no idea there is so much documents involved
- also the first several weeks- I felt weird with my body (not just belly- all of it)
There is much more I think...

Answer

I had a relatively easy pregnancy and birth and there’s a huge list of things I was NOT prepared for, even after reading books, watching movies, taking classes, and talking to other moms:
•SPD and sciatic pain can be straight up debilitating 
•You can have contractions one after the other. Mine can in threes lasting up to 3.5 minutes with only 30-second breaks. The nurses were floored. Yeah, I took that epidural.
•Advocate to have your epidural placed properly! Mine took 6 tries and they still didn’t get it right. 
•Pelvic injuries from birth don’t always heal themselves or properly. If you’re still in pain after 2 months, advocate for help.
•Don’t let your OB-GYN/Midwife tell you “you just need more lube”. Don’t let them belittle your pain. 
•Breastfeeding is HARD and takes lots of practice.
•Mastitis is evil. Be sure to stay on a feeding/pumping schedule.
•Sleep deprivation is unworldly when you have a colic baby. I was referred to a neurologist because my doctor was so concerned with my coordination.
•ASK FOR HELP WITH EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING! Your pride can be your worst enemy. People want to help. Let them.
•Becoming a parent is the best and worst thing ever. You’ll feel like you might die sometimes, and others you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.

Answer

The difficulty of breastfeeding is definitely something that needs to be discussed more. Society, doctors, the entertainment business, and even some fellow moms make it sound like this glorious experience and that baby latches on instantly and it’s such a beautiful feeling, but in reality most moms have a lot of difficulty breastfeeding and it involves a lot of trial and error and stress. And if baby doesn’t latch, then alternate options should be discussed more openly. 
Also, before giving birth, people should talk more about your water breaking. I legit thought it worked like it did on tv where a gush of liquid came pouring out of you and onto the floor and then you have your baby like 30 min later 🤣🤣🤣 No one told me it could trickle out, like mine did when my water broke, so I actually wasn’t entirely sure if my water broke, and that you could still labor for hours before actually giving birth (24 hours for me that resulted in a c section because my body stopped dilating).

Answer

I had an episiotomy, cut in 2 places.  I wish I would have known more about that healing process.  It took a few weeks but the first couple were the worst part of pregnancy, labor and birth combined.  I had a really great pregnancy and birth experience.  However, the year to follow after my son was born was hard.  I ended up having a lot of problems healing the pelvic region.  I would need to pee and a second later wouldn’t be able to control it.  Had a few instances that I peed myself and had no control to be able to stop it.  Had herniated discs but didn’t know until my son turned 1.  After that I went to a physical therapist that told me that she thinks all pregnant women should be seeing a physical therapist throughout pregnancy and after birth so that the body can properly heal.  By the point I saw her, I was suffering from a lot of muscle weakness that could have been completely avoided if someone had just told me...well now I tell anyone that wants to listen and even some that don’t.  Also I was told by a friend when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy to go to the hair salon right after birth.  But she didn’t tell me that it was going to lose so much hair.  I knew it would happen but it was extreme and still is and son is almost 3.

Answer

I had an induction at 37 weeks due to preeclampsia. I was 2 cm dilated when I went into the hospital on a Saturday night at 36+6. They started me on cytotec to thin my cervix. At 6am the next day (37 weeks exactly), my doctor came in to check me and I was 3cm. He broke my water and started me on pitocin. Throughout the day, the nurses came in, had me rotating different positions with the peanut ball and adjusting my medicine. At 1:00 they noticed that my baby’s heart rate was dropping with each contraction. I wasn’t handling the contractions well and it was affecting the baby. I had an epidural placed and everything was good except I was still at 3cm and had been all day. When we got to 7pm, my baby was in some distress and I was still at 3cm so the decision was made for me to have a c section. All went well with delivery and then two days later I ended up with an infection and had to be in the hospital for a week.

Answer

I had a miscarriage between my second and third. I think once we knew it was a loss ppl thought it was over without realizing I had to wait to try and pass everything. It didn’t happen so then I took meds to induce it. Still didn’t work so ended in D&c. By that point it had been over a month since we found out baby was gone but no one understood I was still very much dealing with it and experiencing pregnancy symptoms like sickness because my hormones were still so high. Also, I didn’t even expect that after d&c I would experience so many postpartum symptoms like the hair loss.

Answer

I had my daughter super early at 25 weeks last June. I remember feeling really cold and shaky. And I also felt completely shocked, overwhelmed, a great sadness on missing out on a normal typical pregnancy, and honestly… felt like a failure that my body couldn’t keep my baby safe inside.

Answer

How long it can take to heal after a vaginal birth especially if you have an episiotomy/tearing/other complications. They talk a lot about the recovery time from c-sections but my c-section was SO much better recovery-wise than my vaginal birth.

Answer

That after birth you can go into shock. 2 of my 4 births, I went into shock. After my last, I felt shaking, lightheaded and sweaty. I told my husband to grab my son and the nurse took him out of my husband’s hands and handed him back to me. I yelled to take the baby, then I had a seizure. I developed a bad case of Chorioamnionitis. A complication from birth, it’s an infection.

What did you go through after giving birth that people dont talk about enough?

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