WHY DID THE WORLD TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!

Question

I can't fucking so this anymore guys... I just can't... My son has been dead for months now... He was 19 and died from a drug overdose. Before he died the same week I found out my husband cheated. I didn't even get a chance to process that before we were at the hospital taking our baby off life support. My husband talked to me after burying our son. He cried and apologized to me about everything and begged me not to leave and he can't be alone. We ended up selling our house and moving to texas to live on his mom's farm. He ended up telling my parents he cheated and apologizing to them for hurting me... We had been going to grieving and marriage counseling and it seemed like we could get through this... 
My husband died a week ago from being shot... The police knocked on his mom's door and I answered and they asked if I knew him when I asked why they just kept asking if I knew him until I started bawling and asking why. He didn't do anything wrong. Some people got into a fight and a gun was drawn and missed and my husband happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm driving back home to bury my husband Saturday. I have nothing left to live for anymore. The world took everything from me and I have nothing. I was also supposed to take a pregnancy test the week he died because my period was late but I didn't... I don't want to know... I'm just want life to go away... I want everything to just fucking stop! I don't want to be here...

Answer

I recall your post when you said you had decided to go to texas. I remember commenting then that you needed to take one day at a time and deal with that day. Not to think about any days that followed in the interim. This is even more so my advice now.
My heart aches for you, I know the pain you are dealing with - it is very evident in your words. I dont know whether this will provide some solace, but - your husband posted on here. He said that he did not deserve you, he expressed his deep guilt for cheating on you and also for the circumstances surrounding your son passing. He blamed himself. He expressed how much he loved you and also that although he believed he didn't deserve you and your strength that he was going to do all he could to make it better, to show you how much you mean to him and to walk through all of this hand in hand. I completely believed that was his intention,  and I don't know if he told you - I did ask him to- I told him  to pull himself together and to recognise what a powerhouse of a wife he has, and to tell you that I think you are amazing, strong and you will get through this. 
I know you will. You may not feel it right now. But you WILL get through this, one day at a time.  Re the possible pregnancy,  for right now just breathe.  Another week won't matter any.  Reach out to someone, anyone who can be there when you hot that rock and hard place, someone who is prepared to just sit and listen, put an arm around you,  let you cry on their shoulder, make you tea/coffee...just BE there.
I'm so very sorry that the world seems to be falling apart, the pieces do come back together with time

Answer

Omg I’m so very sorry for all this loss and pain you have!! The only thing I can say is if you are pregnant look at this as a blessing in disguise.. Your hubby n son will be looking down on you blessing you with this new life if you are.. Many prayers and love coming your way!! One day at a time and I believe you got this even tho it don’t seem like it at the moment

Answer

I'm sending my sincere condolences. I'm praying for you, & that you may some day find peace. Please, seek all the tools you can to assist you throughout your grieving process. You are loved! You have purpose! And you have an opportunity to spread love through the legacy & remembrance of your loved ones. Don't hesitate to seek help, it can only make you stronger ❤ 1-800-273-8255

Answer

Oh, my heart is broken with you.
Please, find a bereavement support group. They can help you navigate through this. Someone there has been in your shoes, and they can show you the steps to a path forward.
I know it won’t be the same, and I know it will still hurt… but you learn to live with it. You can still thrive and contribute to this world. You are loved, and needed.
And know, all of us here reading your story are collectively grieving with you. You aren’t alone. ❤️

Answer

I’m so sorry hun, honestly my heart breaks for you. Life is so unfair… it’s never a matter of what you deserve, you can be such a great person and things can still go horribly wrong. I don’t have much advice, but know that you’re in my thoughts and I really pray that you find some peace in your situation ♥️♥️♥️

Answer

I am so so so so sorry!!!!! This is so awful and I will pray for you.

Answer

I’m so sorry!! Let yourself grieve. Find someone to talk too. Take it a day at a time.

Answer

I’m so so sorry for your losses. I know you may feel like you can’t move forward, but ending your life isn’t the answer. It’s going to take time and it’s going to be a process to heal. Seek out therapy, talking things out with someone can really be helpful. Sending a virtual hug ❤️

Answer

I remember your last posts that’s so messed up I’m so sorry for your loss , I’m not gonna sit here and say everything happens for a reason because I don’t know what I would do if I was in your place , I really hope you heal from this or get some type of closure , I really wish this world wasn’t so unfair 😔

Answer

Oh my gosh, I am sorry you’re going through all of this. You should really seek counseling to help with all of these emotions. Your life is not worth ending, time will heal all wounds. Until then, continue to remember your husband and son in the happiest of times. 
I am so sorry 💙

WHY DID THE WORLD TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!

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