Ok so me and my fiancée & our 2 children moved in with my mom & her wife, we were desperate to get out of our old apartments because it was just horrible there

Since we been here we’ve been really doing a lot for ourselves & using our money to pay for certifications and schooling so my fiancée can get a better job so we can move out again, but till then we’re stuck here

So let’s start from here, I’ve been having problems with my step mom because she ALWAYS talks about me behind my back, then smiles in my face and denies everything and tries to put it on my mom like she’s the one talking shit about me when she’s not

She would always talk to my mom and tell her that she doesn’t like the way I parent my children for whatever reason, she tells her she’s going to purposely take my children away from me if they are in trouble, they are toddlers so when they do things they shouldn’t be doing I put them in time out, and she doesn’t like that, but I don’t give a damn I had already told her countless times to stop speaking about my parenting it’s none of her concern, I haven’t heard anything recently but she’s probably still doing it

Then recently we just went to Arizona to see my grandma, we all took a road trip there, so the second day we were there in AZ, we were late to go to my grandmas house, because they had told us to come at a certain time, at one point we were going to be on time but my child peed himself in the car, he has a weak bladder, so I had no choice but to go to the hotel grab his clothes and then go back, so we were late at this point, I heard my step mom was talking shit to my grandma (which by the way my grandma is very old school she does things a certain way) she was making my grandma more mad than she already was, by telling her she’s completely right, she’s on my grandmas side, I’m always late to everything , I’m not right and a bunch of other crap. Which pissed my grandma off even more. And I thought that was disrespectful to even be speaking about my name to my grandma, that was NOT her place .

It’s a history of her always talking about me then faking it in my face, I really want to put her in her place at this point, and Tell her to leave my name out of her mouth, but my mom is telling me to ignore her, let her talk, because she’s gonna fight with her more.

But my thing is how does she expect me to be quiet when all she ever does is talk about me! I at least need to protect myself and defend myself, how am I supposed to just keep quiet when I continue to hear her talk shit about me?

Idk what do you guys think