Ok so me and my man moved to a new town with no family this January. we have a 2 month old together and I have a 10 year old. Our relationship has been so toxic & yesterday we got into another big fight (this time I can admit it was my fault) I do believe I have PPD. I started the argument. Well anyways, he started to destroy the house in anger and once again he called his family to tell them how “crazy” I was. This has been an issue in our relationship because he never tells the full story & im sick of it. Especially since our fights are usually due to his sneaky lying ways. Anyways I kicked him out , I have no friends at all and my sister lives 2 hours away. I asked her to help me move me & the kids out this weekend and she didn’t even ask if I was ok & seemed to not care. (Probably because this isn’t the first time this happened) but it made me feel like I was bothering her so I DO not want to rely on her for any help moving or anything.

I’m not sure how I’m going to pack up a 2 bedroom apartment by myself with a new born & 10 year old. Or even pick up a uhaul to get my stuff in storage Atleast.

Im so conflicted on what I should do. He was the main provider and idk if I can handle all these bills alone or be left in this town super lonely with these kids. I’m already going crazy even when me & him are in good terms. My Bestfriend also no longer speaks to me because of this relationship. My only option would be to either stay & struggle or move 14hours away back to my parents (which I really don’t want to do)

Even though this argument was my fault. His history of cheating , lying and being sneaky all played a part in my emotions. So I don’t feel I need to apologize. He’s a full blown narcissist. So I feel like I’m literally dying without this man but I know it’s for the best that we aren’t together. It’s weird how much I miss him but I know he’s no good for me. I can however say he has been trying lately to be a better man & this argument was so stupid. I regret it. My feelings are all over the place. I will say However, he was reallyyyyy helping me out with all these bills. (Everything is in my name) but he paid basically 90% of the rent & everything else.

My feelings are all over the place & I want to do what’s best for my kids. I miss him & wish we didn’t fight yesterday at all it was so stupid but it’s like this always happens it’s always stupid whether it’s my fault or his. And it seems to get worse everytime.

This time I don’t want to get my family involved because they seem over it & im so embarrassed idk what to do all I have to depend on is my immediate family but it seems like I can no longer turn to them. I hate to be the woman that “stays” for the sake of the kids or money but that’s what it’s looking like I have to do for now 😢 I’m really considering calling him & apologizing.