How do you know if you have postpartum depression?

My family doctor and OB are never available for appointments and I feel as though I have it.

As much as I love my baby, when I look at him I just feel sad and alone. I live with my babies father but he does the bare minimum and is always out partying with friends or working and when it comes to him being home he’s “too tired” to help.

I have been out once in the last month for not even two hours without the baby and as soon as I got home I had to jump right back into feeding and changing as his father hadn’t done it while I was gone.

I cry every single day and I just feel numb. This is not what I wanted out of life, I wanted a baby more than anything but with someone who cared and supported and loved us.

Instead I have a roommate I have to clean up after who takes off as he pleases and gets mad at me when I call him out for being useless and I have an innocent baby who I feel no connection to and as if he isn’t mine.

I don’t know what to do and have nobody to turn to.

I just want to sleep all day long and never leave my house.