Was She Calling Me Weak?

Earlier this evening my son was outside playing. As it started to get dark he comes inside and asks to play right by the house with my neighbors son. Cool, sure. No problem. Well as I was finishing up dinner I noticed that it was pretty dark. So I step outside and don't see him. I walk down the side walk to look further down the street in both directions and still don't see him. So I call him. No answer. After the 3rd phone call panic starts to set in... I text my neighbor asking if she'd seen my son? She said not since she saw our sons playing together but her son had since gone inside.

I get in the car and drive around and see him a block over playing football. By this time I've called him about 8x. I was furious. He knows the rules are to answer and let me know where he is. Not to turn down his ringer. Not only that but be where you say you'll be. If you want to head somewhere else simply come and ask me. Don't tell me one thing and do another. He's 12. So he understands. While I was extremely upset, I calmed down before talking to him. Not showing my anger but definitely let him know that I was disappointed and scared!

Anyway, before I go to look for him.. I call my mom in complete panic.

Fast forward, we're home settled and the kids are eating dinner and my son is apologizing profusely while crying. I was still on the phone with my mom. She says to me " I would've beat his ass on the spot. Before even making it home. I guess this the stuff y'all new parents do. " I ignored it. She went on to say "He's testing you because he knows you're not going to do anything." Well excuse the fuck out of me! I didn't realize I needed her fucking approval on how to live my life and how to raise MY kids! That really pissed me off. I felt like she was trying to hear what form of discipline I was going to use and I didn't discuss it with her because I don't have to. Tf! I let her know that I do get onto my son and he knows that. I don't have to prove it to anyone else! She responded with "Okay. Well I guess you got it."... I wasn't asking for your fucking help! I was venting..out of pure fear and panic.

This is not the first time my mother has spoken to me like this. I am 31 years old and she'll sometimes tell me how great a mother I am and then other moments tell me that I need to do better with how I discipline my children. Like wtf. My kids don't run all over me but I also don't believe in whooping kids for every fucking thing how she did me and my brother growing up. I've always felt bullied by my mom and I am just about sick of it.

Was she calling me weak? Just because I chose not to whoop my son? And she felt like I should have?...