Tips to get over baby fever? *Long Read*

Hello ladies! I'm looking for some advice on how to help my ridiculous baby fever 😓 I'm sorry if this seems all over the place, I'm just trying to get my thoughts out.

So I guess I'll start by saying I'm 27 years old. I thought that I would NEVER want kids when I was younger as I helped raise all my siblings. I've seen the good and bad of children. I've had so many sleepless nights as a teen because my little brother and sisters rooms was right next to mine. My mother was going to school and working full time at the time, so I would take it upon myself to get up and feed and rock them back to sleep so she could get some much needed rest. As they got older, I would watch them whenever I could to give mom a break, clean the whole house and even cook dinner. I got out of school around 1 pm so I had the time, it was never a big deal to me.

I respect tf out of all you mamas out there, raising children is hard! Even if it's just helping. I told everyone that my siblings were like my children and I would never want any of my own (they acted like little demons) lol. Although because I was always there for them for whatever they needed, we are all very close and I'm so grateful ❤️

We grew up poor and had to struggle for everything. I wanted to make sure I'm financially stable before bringing a life into the world. As of now, my bf of 3 years and I live in a studio apartment. Water, electric, septic and trash is all included for the cheap price of $700 a month. We got lucky because our landlord is my bf's mom's best friend. We recently got a new car because mine took a crap and we needed something that would last us a while. My bfs mom convinced us to get brand new Toyota and the payment is $440 a month 😖 WAY more than I ever wanted to pay for a car, but it has a many safety features that I fell in love with it (I'm terrified of car accidents). We still have my bfs 2004 Toyota as well and still runs great with no payment, so we have two cars.

I had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago. We always use protection and are very careful. My bf told me that he's ready to be a dad whenever I decide that I am ready. My mind has changed over the years and I want a child so bad now. However, I don't feel we are in the best financial situation right now. I love my landlord like family and it's so cheap to live here, but I am loosing my mind in this tiny space. I constantly move stuff around trying to create more space.

Well he looked crushed when the test came back negative and looked even more disappointed when I sighed a breathe of relief. I can not with a good conscious bring a child into this world while we have so little. Yes, we have a roof over our head, which I am grateful for, but I want to provide so much more for my child. I want to be able to buy them everything they need. I want them to be able to go to college without struggling and get smacked with student debt.

I also want to go back to school for a anthropology degree. That's a minimum of 4 years for academia and 6 years for field research, which seems like a very long time. This hinders my decision a bit as I dreamed of this profession forever. I feel like if I were to have a baby, I would more than likely end up being a SAHM and it would end my chance at a career. I'm not saying mom's can't persue a career with children, I guess I'm just worried that my child will not get the attention they require because I'll be to busy with work.

I quit smoking cigarettes and drinking to save money as well as for my health. I cut all unnecessary costs as well (unused subscriptions and eating out). I just feel like it's so hard to save money living in south FL, shit is expensive down here 😕 My bf has a great job at a company and was promoted to assistant manager last year. His boss takes him to company shows out of state and has told him that she wants him to mingle with the vendors so he can eventually take over her position at these shows and advance in the company. He makes good money, but I feel like we'll still struggle if I do not continue to work. Plus, I've always worked for everything I have since I was a teen, I don't feel comfortable with putting all the financial strain on him, even if he says it's okay. I'm not worried about him controlling the money or me for the matter, he never has anything negative to say when I want to do something and he's literally a angel. I struck gold on this man lol 🥰

What are some ways you mamas prepared for a baby? How did you get your financials in order and decide when was the right time to start trying? How do you juggle work, school, children and keeping up with your daily tasks like cleaning and cooking? I'm convinced some of y'all are actually superwoman in disguise lol.

Any advice or criticism is very much appreciated. Thanks for listening to my ramble ♥️