Who gets to be in the delivery room

Question

Hey there - still pretty early along (6 weeks) but stressing about labor & daycare already 😂  this is our first! 
I have my first appointment tomorrow and my husband is going with me because he is so excited. I know I am very lucky to have a partner that is so involved. But I am stressing out about the crowd of people that will be present in a very vulnerable position and situation. I suppose I never thought about it since nobody has ever gone to an OB appointment with me in the past. 
I already know that it will be drama with the hoard of people who will want to be present in the room when I deliver. Everything I’m reading says there will be a good number of doctors/etc in the room which is already unsettling. I know they are there for a reason but it still feels embarassing. How many people need a front row show to this?! I know it might seem silly and everyone that I’m talking to says you don’t even notice but I’m just not crazy about the revolving door of people who get to be all up in my business. 
Any advice to ease some of these concerns?! TIA.

Answer

I promise you when you’re in full blown labor you will not give two shits how many doctors/students/nurses are in the room looking at your vagina. Your modesty disappears. I had my husband there, they leave you alone most of the time and check you occasionally for process. Once things get moving and it’s almost time to push I’d say there was about 6 medical staff in the room, the doctor, two or 3 nurses, and two nurses to take care of the baby immediately after delivery. And I didn’t care if a single one was looking down there lol.

Answer

I absolutely refused to let my family in. The only person allowed was my husband. If that’s what you want then be firm and tell them that.

Answer

I didn’t care about doctors and nurses being there, but family? Heck no. Only my husband was allowed. My MIL was pretty offended with this but I didn’t care. My husband tried to take her side at one point and I said “Well when you’re the one giving birth you can make that decision but you’re not so shove it!” I didn’t hear a word out of him after that 🤣 we just didn’t tell anyone we were at the hospital. We did call when our daughter was born but we didn’t tell them which hospital we were at and that they were going to have to wait until I said it was okay for them to come over.

Answer

When it's time to deliver you will be grateful for the nursing staff, and you will not even care about your bits being exposed. They're THE BEST resource! Especially as a first time mom the staff was a godsend!
As far as family, I only had my mom and my husband present... My second delivery it was only my husband. I'm almost 37wks with  #3 and it will again only be my husband. Everybody else can wait at home until I give the ok to come visit.

Answer

I don't know why you are hearing about crowds of people, but unless you're high risk it usually isn't. I had my husband, Dr, and 2 nurses. And they pretty much leave you alone until it's time to push, they just check in from time to time.  My high risk preeclampsia birth I think I had 2 additional nurses because the baby had signs of distress. They also don't allow others in the birthing room, usually 1 or 2 support people only, and only who you authorize to be there.

Answer

I’m thankful for covid because of this 😂 we were only allowed to have one person with us so my whole family didn’t have to come. And yes there are quite a few doctors and nurses.

Answer

It’s completely up to YOU who you let in the delivery room. If you do not want a team of doctors, let them know that. Nobody is entitled to be in the room except you, your doctor or midwife, and anyone you WANT there. As far as guests go, many hospitals are still limiting who can be in the room anyway because of covid regulations. Some are only allowing 1 person besides mom. 
I’m going to a midwife birth center and I’m allowed 2 people in the room, so I’ll have my husband and my mom. I’ll only have 1-2 midwives and maybe a nurse, and they’ll rotate out so only the midwife will really be there at time of delivery. I’m not at all comfortable with the idea of being swarmed by a team of doctors, which is one of the reasons I chose not to have a hospital birth to begin with. But even if you’re in the hospital, you make the decision on who is allowed in your room.

Answer

You literally won’t care in the thick of it. They see that everyday. All you will care about is getting that baby out and into your arms. 
I don’t even remember who was in the room except my husband and the doctor. I think two nurses? 
I promise, your ‘vulnerable position’ will be the last thing you care about.

Answer

You definitely won’t care which staff is in the room during full blown labor. And truly until that baby is legit coming out there’s only the doctor and a nurse or two. I did most of my pushing with just one nurse with my OB checking in periodically.
I don’t want people looking at me while I’m in pain like an animal In a zoo, so having family present, even to say hi is a no. I’m fasting during the laboring process I told my husband to quit talking to me and watch some sports. Pretty sure he was happy about that. 😂 
It’s your moment and you shouldn’t have to share it with anyone you don’t want to.

Answer

I agree with the others who say when the time comes you won’t care. And I was like you where I thought, like ya people say that, but I’ll still care. I did not care one bit lol. I don’t even remember how many people were in the room when I delivered, I know there was a doctor, a medical student, and at least a couple of nurses plus hubby. 
My advice to myself as a first time mom: labour and delivery is not what you need to worry about lol

Who gets to be in the delivery room

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