Narcissist or Asshole?

My friend, we'll call her Tiffany, has been telling me things about her husband, who we'll call Howard.

Tiffany has been trying to lose weight (she's 5ft 2in tall and 158 pounds). She's only slightly overweight but nothing to be concerned about. She does not like working out, but she has been vegan for about a year now.

Anyway, her husband was sitting on the couch one day and said he needed to start working out again. She said she told him that she loves him the way he is and thinks he's attractive no matter what, but if he wants to work out, she'll support him.

Howard paused and said, "I'm mad at myself because I can't say the same thing back to you."

Tiffany then goes on to tell me that it's not his fault... That he just likes fit women and he wants her to be fit because that's what he's attracted to. And she feels bad for him because he's so mad at himself for feeling this way.

But it has been rubbing me the wrong way since she told me. I think that if he truly loves her, he would be attracted to her no matter how much weight she gained.

My mom thinks he's a narcissist because he turned it around and made her feel bad for him. Personally, I would have been pissed and I'd also be worried he would cheat on me or leave me because of my weight.

It's also not the first time he's made a comment about her weight. And it's also not the first time he's been disrespectful or said something hurtful to her.