So I have a real bad time with spinal and epidurals.

Every time I need something like that I'm freaking out.

2019 I needed an epidural and knew I was delivering baby at 24 weeks knowing he will only survive for a short while. I laboured with pitocin for 12 grueling hours with an epidural.

10 hours after birth he passed away.

2020 I fell pregnant and needed a cerclage. They gave me a spinal.

2020 I had another spinal and my baby girl was delivered by c section at yet again.. 24 weeks. She's well and happily sleeping.

Well it's coming up cerclage time for me again at 15 weeks.

I'm nervous, having bad dreams, crying, shaking, a wreck. Everything is coming back to me.

We drive past the hospital often and again I am a wreck. Crying uncontrollably.

My partner just tells me to shale it off and deal with it.

I think I might have some form of ptsd and I'm getting no help from my partner whatsoever. Can I get help through my midwife team?