This was my rainbow baby after a first trimester miscarriage in 2020. Today had an ultrasound and found out the babies brain and skull didn't form correctly. Baby will either pass away inside me, or die soon after delivery. They gave me an ultrasound after they told me to show me, and the head stops right above the eyes. My mom died June 26, 2021 suddenly, and now this. I was alone at my appointment as my husband is out of town on a business trip. It was 3 years before we got pregnant in 2020, then again in 2021. I'm 37 and am just thinking my son will be a one and only. I can't keep doing this to my body, and mentally I can't handle it. We were all so excited and I haven't come up with how to tell my almost 4 year old what happened. He was looking forward to being a big brother. If insurance covers it I'll either have a surgery next week to remove the baby, or I'll be induced. 😭💔

How did I go from my biggest concern being what we were going to name the baby, if I'd be able to have a VBAC, and traveling with 2 kids to delivering a week from now. Feeling shattered and broken at this moment. God must think I'm stronger than I am.