(Long post)One hell of a ride but definitely worth my little boy💙

So on the 10/07/21 I was induced at 37 weeks due to PPROM at around 11am p (was supposed to have the propess at 9am bit ya know hospital staff don't rush🤣) all was well until about 3pm. When I started feeling immense pressure in my stomach and around 4pm I started feeling waves of period like cramps...

I told the midwife on the ward that im feeling so much pressure and cramping and I don't know if this is labor or not. They disregarded what I said and told me it wasn't as the propess doesn't work that fast and it's just my boy putting pressing on my cervix. (Which wasn't the case as im aware of what that felt like). They didn't give me pain relief when I asked for it, (paracetamol)only peppermint water for my acid reflux. 🤷🏼‍♀️

This obviously made me very stressed out. Not knowing what was happening and knowing that something didn't seem right. This went on for another 3 hours. I was bouncing on the birthing ball as it was the only thing that was helping. Then around 7.30pm I was on the phone to my partner, crying because I didn't know what I was feeling and everytome I try talking to a midwife or nurse they just ignored what I was saying. I then started having a bit of a panic attack as I was confused and no one was helping, then the midwife came round and said she would put me on the ctg machine to check baby.

Was on the monitor for about half hour, went night staff took me off it I asked "are they contractions?" She told me no and that it could be the propess, these seemed to her Like Braxton hicks which I saidthat this felt nothing like them. (Bear in mind due to my high risk pregnancy and high risk of infection I wasn't allowed to have the pessary in for any longer than 6 hours. By this time it had been 9 hours so I was getting extremely pissed and worried 😟) their response was "we're keeping it in till L&D have a bed for you" which I questioned and they ignored it. 🙃

So after being taken off the machine and told this she just said to me to have a bath to help the pressure and to relax me. So I went and had a bath. Was in there for 20 minuets, got out to get changed and 2 midwives came to collect me to go to delivery. Went down, they took the propess out, checked my cervix and i was fully effaced and 2cm dilated!!! When half hour prior I wasn't in labor. 🤷🏼‍♀️ she then popped the rest of my waters and I was instantly 3cm.

On the ctg it was showing up that my contractions was all over the place. Would have 6 in 10 minutes then 3 the next 10 minuets. So they was worried about that so I was moved around a lot, trying to get them to be more consistent and regular....they never was. Throughout...

At 1.30am they checked my cervix and I was a whooping 6cm dilated. But unfortunately by cervix was now not opening fully. At this stage I asked for gas and air. At 3am they started whispering and I could hear them talking about rushing me into theater. From have 2 midwives I then had 3 midwives and 2 doctors who kept coming in, checking the ctg and walking out. I'm aware at this point that if a doc has to come in there's something going wrong or possibly will go wrong... I then had a doctor sit down next to me, explaining that every time I contract my babies heart rate drops dramatically which could mean he's in distress or the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck. And my contractions was all over the place and would come either minuets apart or seconds apart. Which they was concerned about.

At this point they went to check my cervix again and I wasn't progressing. Still at 6cm dilated. My cervix was getting caught on baby. They then was thing me to go into different positions to try and help me.

At this point I'm panicking. I'm now having severe anxiety which makes pain worse, I then begged for the epidural as I knew it helps speed up the process and can ensure a safer delivery even if I went in for an emergency c-section. The anesthesiologist came in straight away and said that he was going to give me the lowest dose for now and will top it up if needs be. When he's out of theater. I felt a little more relaxed and babies heart rate wasn't dropping as much. I was still feeling everything but it was taking the edge off things. At 4.30am they checked me again and I was 9.5cm dilated and told me I need to start pushing now. So every contraction I had to push 3 times. Which was difficult... we then had a complication and I was having a 2nd degree tear, so I had to have the midwife male 3 extra cuts to widen and have have safe delivery (I had an episiotomy and a kiwi delivery) baby had to be suctioned out of me too . She had to make sure she hadn't sown my bum together.

At 5.40am, our little boy made his appearance, cord round his neck which frightened us, he had a little trouble breathing and was taken straight up to the NICU after some cuddles with Me. Daddy went with him but I was all alone in the room still covered in blood and no one helped me until 9am. I was having high temperature and low blood sugar levels and felt extremely weak. But no one battered an eyelid. At 1.30pm we finally went up to transitional care where out baby boy had infections, jaundice and low bloods. After a few scares and worries we fi ally came home on the 13th of July!

Baby still a little jaundice, but infections gone and baby is thriving. Me? Not so much, seems like post partum is more painful than actual birth and I really don't like how no one prepares you for this. Due to the trauma of birth, the tear and episiotomy im still finding it difficult and im in tears most of the time.

However, the experience of bringing my baby boy into this world i would do it over and over again as it was the most precious thing in the world❤

How did you ladies make yourself feel better after birth with episiotomy and tears. Also constipation 😬