So my husband has a child out side of our marriage and the child’s mother isn’t fond of me at all . I never did anything and so badly want to be in her child’s life especially since me and my husband have two boys together and of course since that’s his daughter . She doesn’t want me around and he isn’t allowed to see her unless I’m not around . She has a birthday coming up and of course she says I can’t be there . I’ve done nothing but be myself and try to get on good terms with her for the sake of the child but it isn’t getting anywhere … I don’t know what to do and don’t want my husband to feel like he can’t be in his child’s life if I’m not there . Backstory … me and my husband did separate and were on the verge of getting divorced we separated for months and were seeing other people . Unfortunately she did get pregnant and it was hard thing for me to accept especially since she was having his first daughter. We decided we wanted to work on our marriage and or course I gave the other woman space and time because I get she was hurt and very angry so i get not wanting to talk to me or have a relationship with me right away but she did know he was still legally married even though we were separated.. it wasn’t my plan at all to hurt someone and my husband did his best to be supportive but it’s only so much he can do … it’s been months and her first birthday is coming up and I just want to be there to be supportive and of course have her brothers there to . Has anyone else’ dealt with a situation like this ? Has anyone been in my shoes as a wife to accept a baby even though it wasn’t technically cheating ,a new life was created outside of our marriage and it hurt like hell and I’ve beat myself up over this a lot with the emotions of not being able to give him his first daughter let alone if I ever can but I’m trying and I want this co-parenting relationship to work between them … has anyone been in her shoes and how long do you think it will be before she accepts everything?

And if you’re wondering we wanted a divorce because we felt like our “little “ problems just got to big that they couldn’t be fixed . He’s a great man , father and husband and just wants to do right by everyone .