🚨WARNING: LONG READ🚨

Here is my predicament….

My bff’s bday is coming up in August. A month ago she said that she was going to change it up and be celebrating the weekend prior to her actual birthday due to stuff in her own schedule.

I just spoke with her last night and she said that she is now doing something the weekend prior to AND on her actual bday. The issue is mine and my boyfriend’s 8yr anniversary is few days before her birthday during the work week and we have decided we want to go out of town to celebrate.

More info…my bf and BFF have had a rocky relationship in the past but are now civil with each other and I have to admit that my BFF loves to be center of her attention during her birth month and especially on her birthday (nothing wrong with that I just think it’s necessary info to help gage her personality). Weeks prior to this situation I spoke with my bf and told him that I sensed my BFF would be wanting to celebrate two weekends in a row so I was not sure when we’d celebrate our anniversary. He was honest with me and said that it seemed rather unfair/hurt his feelings that she was going to get two weekends out of the month and him and I weren’t going to get a single one to celebrate us. He had a point and I feel that he and I do deserve to celebrate our relationship.

Now you’re probably thinking “why not just celebrate your anniversary earlier or later to make both birthday events?…” I wish we could but I am one to plan ahead and I do not lie when I say I have an engagement every weekend in August and September. When my BFF said she was going to celebrate her bday earlier this year that threw me for a loop Bc that was the original weekend I had tentatively/mentally put aside for my anniversary. Now that she is celebrating both weekends I am on a rollercoaster. With that being said, the only weekend my bf and I would now have that correlates w/each other is her actual bday weekend.

Last night on the phone I vocalized to her that my bf and I will be going out of town so I won’t be attending ONE of the bday events (most likely the one on her actual bday) but will make one event over the other. She didn’t like that. We both got silent on the phone and she eventually hung up.

If you’ve stuck with me this far, THANK YOU!!! I would like to clarify that I’m not upset she’s celebrating her bday twice. She loves herself and deserves to do so. I am just stressing because I know she’s upset with me and I hate letting her or my bf down. Sadly there’s only one of me and can’t do it all.

So please answer my question, am I an asshole for missing one of her bday events to celebrate my anniversary???