Should a woman have to change her last name after getting married?

Question

I am just really attached to my last name. Especially after being in the military. Most of my friends call me by my last name instead of my first name. I got married last year and my husband is upset that I haven’t changed my name yet. I totally understand where he’s coming from, but I’m just having a hard time with the change and I feel like I shouldn’t HAVE TO do it just yet. I love him more than anything. I don’t know why this is so hard for me.

Answer

Can you compromise and hyphenate it? I can’t stand my husband’s last name and accomplished a lot professionally with my last name so I hyphenated.

Answer

No, you don't have to if you don't want to. I wouldn't let him pressure you into it either. I personally don't find it a big deal to keep your maiden name. You're still married regardless. I personally do not plan to take my fiances last name when we get married. I don't like it and I don't like how it sounds with my first name. I also have a very long last name so I don't plan to hyphenate either. It's personal preference. Truthfully my fiance wishes I would take his name since out daughter has his name but I'm still not doing it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I’m proud of my last name and will definitely be either hyphenating or dropping middle name and still have both last names

Answer

I have no emotional attachment to my name, it's the name of my grandmothers abuser, so when i marry I will be changing my name but my SIL didn't change her name when she married my brother as she loves her name and it's a name she shares with her mother who's passed I believe when children are in the mix shes adding my brothers surname to hers but that's a way off yet they're still quite young

Answer

I’ve been married about 5 years and never changed my last name 🤷🏻‍♀️ I grew up with my mom having a different last name than my dad, so for me it’s normal. Our kids have hyphenated last names. Granted my dad calls me by my husbands last name just to irritate me. Parents 🤦🏻‍♀️I had someone tell me it’s difficult to change your last name and even harder to change it back and I don’t like paperwork so I never planned on changing my last name.

Answer

I haven't changed my last name. It's part of my identity and heritage.

Answer

I got lucky and it wasn’t really an issue. In fact my husband took my last name when we married. But circumstances lead him not to share a last name with either biological parent and he wanted to continue our new family with a name that meant a lot to me. It needs to be a conversation.

Answer

I just added my husband's name at the back, no hyphenate only the name.

Answer

If you don’t want to change your name, you should just talk to your husband about it! you definitely shouldn’t feel obligated to. 
I have a few ideas for you: you could legally change your last name to your husband’s but still go by yours in most situations (just because you legally change it, doesn’t mean you can’t go by whatever name you want); you could change your middle name to your current last name, and make your husband’s your new last name (this is what i did); you could hyphenate; or you could just keep your name as is, and hopefully your husband will be able to understand once you explain to him how important it is to you. You guys could still sign family cards/etc with his last name if you wanted also (like “From the Robertsons!” lol). 
how i see it, a name is really not that important. 
my parents gave me my names, it’s not like i chose them, nor will they cease to be mine just because i changed it on paper. people have legal names they never use, going by nicknames their whole lives. whatever you decide to do is perfectly fine!

Answer

I think this is something that should be discussed and agreed upon before marriage since some people do feel very strongly about it. But, I understand how some people may not realize how strongly they feel about it until after marriage…bc I’m totally guilty of that. I was so excited to change my last name to my wife’s last name after the wedding. I Even did the name change part on the for when we got our marriage license. But here we are, two years later, and I still never got it officially changed. On all of my social media profiles I have my wife’s last name, I introduce myself with her last name, put the “my-wife’s-last-name”’s on Christmas cards. Colloquially, I’m referred to with her last name. On everything formal, I still use my maidan name as that’s what’s on my identification. While my wife wishes I would go in and change my name, she’s glad I use it informally.

Should a woman have to change her last name after getting married?

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