I’m so annoyed.

I’m 8 weeks pregnant today. I have all day nausea that’s killing me. I’m on my 8th pregnancy after 7 losses. No successful pregnancies

In my 5th week my levels were high at 37,000

5 days later they dropped to 36,000 and I was told I would miscarry. I’ve been through it. I knew it was bad. I’d had a few days of light spotting as well so I knew.

But I had my scheduled ultrasound at 6w5d anyway to confirm the miscarriage. There was a 6w3d gestational sac in the uterus with no baby inside. My fears were confirmed.

I stopped taking my progesterone suppositories that day and waited to miscarry

My symptoms got worse and the all day nausea came in which I hadn’t had yet so I went back to check my levels. A week after the result of 36,000 it came back 45,000. Like what???? Why the fuck did it go back up if it already started dropping. I’ve had missed miscarriages where my hcg continued to rise after baby stopped growing, but once they dropped, they continued to drop until 0. So why on earth would it drop then go up 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Somehow since stopping the progesterone, the spotting has stopped🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m sitting here at 8weeks pregnant with no baby.

Why?! Why me?!

I’m waiting to do another hcg draw next week to hopefully see dropping levels. If not I’ll go for another scan to be absolutely sure before taking the misoprotol pills to induce the miscarriage

I’m just so sick of this. I’ve wanted to have pregnancy symptoms. I’ve wanted to have morning sickness and food aversions, heightened sense of smell, frequent urination and all that shitty stuff that comes with pregnancy

But it’s so fucking unfair that I have to go through it for pregnancy after pregnancy that are unviable.

I’m hungry all day while also being nauseous and also having zero appetite. This sucks soooo bad. I feel on the verge of vomiting all day long. And apparently there’s not even a damn baby in the sac.

I guess I just wanted to vent. I’m so over this shit.