Boyfriend doesn't want to open up to me, is this normal or?

Question

There's been a few times throughout our relationship where I ask him what's going on or how he feels about a situation that has happened and instead of telling me, "I don't really feel like talking about it now, just give me a few days", he just shuts down on me, it sort of makes me feel like he doesn't trust me at all. I told him how I felt and all he replied back with was that he didn't want to talk or think about it even though I'm just asking a simple question. How can I get him to talk to me?

Answer

No thats not normal

Answer

Sometimes that’s a coping mechanism for people. My husband is very reactive when things happen that aren’t favorable so he tries to walk away from it and get a grip before talking it out. I think it’s great he’s open with you to say he’s not ready to talk about stuff. If you want to understand him more, ask him what he gains from taking that space before talking about it.

Answer

I hate talking about my feelings/emotions/issues/etc. I would rather deal with it myself because it works better for me. It has nothing to do with not trusting my husband but rather his I deal with stuff. I'll talk to him if I need to.but otherwise I don't.  He needs to talk  everything out in great detail  so I let him fo that. But I would have a hard time if someone accused me if not trusting just because I deal with it that way. Would make me feel like I had to talk to them for their feelings and push what I ask going through aside instead of dealing with it myself

Answer

Everyone is different, my partner is a lawyer, he talks more than I do, communication has never been an issue, any disagreements get resolved immediately, and someone who blocks you out, slams doors, avoidance, or leaves, that’s not healthy none of it is, and there’s probably more going on than you realize, why someone can’t express their feelings, either from trauma, bad experiences in the past, trust issues, Or they have been judged in the past for behaviors and things that of happened, so maybe he learned not to share his feelings, it could be something from his childhood, maybe his father was the kind of person who would tell him to man up, stop being a pansy, etc. and it’s understandable why there’s so many men with depression and so many other psychological issues because of being told not to express their emotions or show weakness or cry. Your partner could have a long list of things wrong with him, and doesn’t want to seem weak or vulnerable or cry in front of you, or he doesn’t want to get angry, there’s probably way more levels to this than you realize, and if this is some thing that happens all the time, he may not be the right partner for you. He may need to deal with his issues before being in a relationship with anyone otherwise it’s just going to sabotage the relationship by pushing you away. For all you know he could have all kinds of issues from childhood, drugs, alcohol, or any addiction, he could have childhood abuse or sexual abuse, he could have a zillion different things going on that he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with you. But like I said if this is something that constantly happens, you’re going to get tired of it. I personally couldn’t be with someone who didn’t tell me about their life, their past, blocks me out, slams doors, leaves, avoids me, dismisses my feelings, makes me feel bad about myself, uses guilt or manipulation, or control, etc. another thing you could be a control mechanism, to keep the ball in his court, to do the minimal while you do the max mom and chase after him Until you get tired of it. Unfortunately people don’t break up anymore, one person just becomes distant or an asshole until the other person gets tired of it. I wish you luck, you’re going to need it￼￼￼￼

Answer

If he doesn't want to talk about whatever it is then wait until he's ready like he told you. It's absolutely normal for any person. It's more weird that you're taking it as a personal slight.

Answer

It’s completely normal. People need time to process and deal with issues they’re facing, they don’t want to jump into everything at once because it’s hard for them. Don’t try to force them into talking or push for them to open up because it’s only going to make them more distant from you, the best thing to do is let them know you’re there and tell them that when they’re ready to talk you’re there to listen. They’ll open up at their own pace and it’s not a good idea to try to make them talk.

Boyfriend doesn't want to open up to me, is this normal or?

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