I wrote yesterday talking about how I had been thinking about it.

Husband came home from his trip. He hasn't been in a good mood. Guess everyone was giving him a hard time about me being home again.

Tonight at dinner I asked him since he is off tomorrow if he could wake up with the baby. He never has with our children and I'm exhausted. Tomorrow he is off but I am taking the kids on a play date to a splash pad.

His exact response is. I'm going to get up with the baby my way then (meaning letting baby cry.) Also I'm going to have to sleep in then and take a nap tomorrow.

I sat in silence the rest of dinner. Cleaned up got the kids to bed. Cleaned house. And now I am pumping. He came and sat next to me. I told him he was selfish and how inconsiderate he is to say that to me. Now he is giving me the silent treatment. He even went to sleep in the guestroom. Two floors away from me and the kids.

I'm honestly contemplating a divorce. His lack of anyone else is killing my soul.

Background: I communicate everything all the time. I'm always letting him know what it is I need. His response is always to hate himself and or compare other couples like I should be happy with him. I am always saying what it is I need to feel loved. He just refuses to do it. I don't want anyone else honestly would rather be by myself and not have to deal with him guilting me for feeling this way. I couldn't be more direct. I literally have spelled it out for him. He is actually in a mood because not just me but other people are telling him from the outside what he is doing is wrong. People I don't even vent to, people who are concerned about me because of how absolutely tuned off he is to how burnt out I am with him. I tell him all the time I don't feel loved because you don't care what it is I am saying or asking of you. We could go to counciling but the minute he has to change a behavior he will stop going he has already told me that. Not sure what the point would be. He doesn't want a change he is happy.