Controlling husband?

What if you suspect you're being psychologically abused but you're not sure because your anxiety makes you overthink and you have a lot of feelings? I need to make a decision but because there's kids involved but I genuinely don't know if I'm the toxic one or not and I don't want to end my marriage if it's salvageable. Also therapy is not an option because he will divorce me (this was previously discussed). Also Im a sahm with no money car (can't drive) and no where to go so this is not an easy choice.

How can you tell if someone is psychologically abusive especially if they're not mean all the time?

@Jess, yes but he'll see it on the insurance and I don't have any money to do it privately