My husband is gross. I love him very much, but he's really, tremendously messy and gross. Whenever I say something about it, he gets mad at me and says my "standards are too high and every man is like that." I disagree. What are your experiences?

Examples of how he is gross:

- He leaves trash wherever he stands. He simply never puts it in the garbage.

- If he cooks food or eats food, he spills it and leaves it. I'm talking like ice cream spills on the floor, pasta sauce covering the stove, his energy drink powder all over the counter.

- In addition to the spills, he leaves food handprints on the fridge, cabinets, counters. He never cleans it up and expects me to without saying a word. If I mention it, he gets defensive and mad (no matter how nicely I mention it).

- I have found both urine and feces on the toilet seat, multiple times. I found something brown on the actual roll of toilet paper and he denied that it was him, but I don't know what else it could be.

- He smokes, but only in our garage. But he spits openly on the garage floor. I've asked him to use a spittoon but he doesn't. He also hacks up phlegm in the sink and don't wash it away.

- He doesn't wash dishes or laundry. He will just wear smelly clothes if I don't wash them.

I do all the cleaning (he simply will live in filth if I don't) and it's like cleaning up after a tornado that goes through my house every day. It's frustrating. I love him, but I think he is more disgusting than many. I also lived with him for 3 years prior to getting married, and he wasn't this bad. We've been married 4 years and he seems to be getting worse every day. What do you think?