Do I have a right to be angry that my now ex daughter in law left my son because she’s lesbian

Question

I’m angry because they have a son together, was married for 3 years, was together for 10 years (met in HS and they’re 25 now), he bought her her first car when she was 16, I opened up my home for her when she was in an argument with her parents back in high school several times, they had an apartment together and now my son is crushed. Good for her for being her true self and happy, but it pains me to have my son claim that time was wasted and he felt used. They talked about a second baby and a whole life and he truly believed that would happen. After him not only providing for her and getting them an apartment right out of high school and before marriage and a baby and helping her pay for college and have a safe vehicle to get around, he’s living back home with me and has lost his trust for others

Accepted Answer

Over reacting. It's their relationship and her life - she's entitled to live it the way she wants. Even if she wasn't a lesbian, who is to say that it would have worked out? Not every relationship is forever.

Answer

I think you and your son both have the right to grieve the loss of the relationship, which many times includes a time period of anger. 
What you don’t have the right to do is take it out on the ex because she is also dealing with a lot and trying to figure it out.
Although it’s a lot to process now and major changes to the family, it gives your son a chance to find someone who can truly love him without feeling like she has to hide a part of herself.

Answer

Not everone realises their sexuality before they make a commitment, no everyone realises their sexuality before they have kids. Been upset is fine but making it seem like she's the worst person alive aint it. She is human she has s right to be happy as well.

Answer

It’s understandable. I will say it’s very likely that she didn’t know she was a lesbian and wasn’t intentionally stringing him along. But you have the right to feel upset and mad that your sons going through this.

Answer

My heart goes out to your son.

Answer

So strange at all the people saying you're overreacting. Yes, obviously it's for the best in the end, you can't help your sexuality and it seems this was inevitable. However, of course you have a right to be mad! Your son's world has been turned upside down by this. His vision for his future has completely changed and he is understandably very distressed. It doesn't matter that his ex can't help her sexuality, after all you're not asking whether she should be punished or if she should have stayed with your son. Simply whether you have a right to be mad about the situation, which of course you do.

Answer

So do you expect her to continue to live a life she isn’t happy with for the sake of your son? Coming to terms with your sexuality can be hard on anyone and I’m sure she doesn’t feel good about hurting your son but she would have only continued to be dishonest to your son and herself if she had stayed in the relationship.

Answer

I don't think anyone wants to break up their family. Decisions like that aren't taken lightly. But things do change with time and with relationships in high school you're still trying to figure stuff out as a person.

Answer

You're 100% overreacting. He has a right to feel hurt but it wasnt time wasted. She may not have know who she was what she liked or what she wanted at such a young age and it's no ones place to tell anyone how to be happy and who to  be happy with. If your son lost his trust in others over this, he needs to seek therapy. As people age and mature, their wants and desires change, how they come to understand and know themselves changes too. This is why WAITNG to have a serious relationship until you're an adult is advised.

Answer

Over reacting! Maybe she was always gay and was suppressing her feelings. The LGBTQ community goes through a lot of feelings that is heterosexual people do not, give her some compassion. Plus she was very young then and now that she’s in her mid 20s she knows who exactly she is and what she wants out of life.

Do I have a right to be angry that my now ex daughter in law left my son because she’s lesbian

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey