It has been five days since we laid our sweet baby to rest and this time that should have been filled with excitement for the future, feels full of nothing but grief. I long to still cradle our baby safe inside my body, to hold her in my arms. Our son would have been such a great big brother and somehow I feel like I've stolen that from him.

I've said goodbye to the soul who would have completed our family. Goodbye to the memories we would have made and a life that was already full of so much potential. Goodbye to the little girl whose smile should have filled our lives with light. I've said goodbye again and again but I can't seem to let you go.

My heart is so broken because there was a million things I had planned to say to you but goodbye was never one of them.