Can’t keep my temper with my 3 year old

I’ve always been a person with a temper, I’m aware it’s definitely my toxic trait. For the past month my baby has been battling a virus and double ear infection as well as teething, and has not let me sleep for more than a few hours a night. I am so exhausted and my 3 year old’s behavior drives me up a wall. It’s normal toddler things, but I can’t keep my temper with him. I yell at him constantly. And lately I’ve been getting rough with him like grabbing him roughly and saying things I know are awful like “what is wrong with you” and “shut the hell up”. He constantly wants to be touching me and I can’t stand it because I’m so touched out so I push him away and tell him to leave me alone. I know it’s wrong but it’s like I see red and can’t control myself. My husband is zero help, he doesn’t care, I low key hate his ass sometimes, and that just adds to my frustration. I’m just seeking help or advice. I’m AWARE my behavior is an issue, but I don’t know what to do about it. I think I would feel better and be a better parent if I had some sleep and support, but I have zero friends and family around me (military life), and I can’t help that my baby is sick and will not sleep. What do I do?