Advice needed: should I tell my 4 year old I’m having surgery? Read description

Question

My daughters first day of school is Monday. The same day as my colorectal surgery to correct a fistula. She will be sleeping at my parents and know they will bring her to school because mom and dad are ‘working’. With my other surgeries, I could get away with not telling her because recovery wasn’t bad. With this one, I’ll be on bed rest for 4 weeks. I’m sure I can tell her I’m sick, or something hurt, but I definitely can’t be as present with her as I’d like to me. Especially with taking her to school. 😔 She’s a bright kid and knows what surgery is. Her favorite show is Dr. Pimple Popper. I’m just having doubts about not doing the right thing. Had anyone faced a similar situation? What would you do?

Answer

I would wait until after she’s back from school and you already had the surgery, that way she knows your okay and won’t worry during school!

Answer

Be honest but wait until after school

Answer

I'd be honest

Answer

I'd tell her but make sure to spend extra time with her before the surgery. Reassure her like crazy that you'll be OK and she can play nurse to help you recover as you rest afterwards :) That's what I would do.

Answer

I would tell her. My daughter is the same way. She is very smart and constantly asking questions. We level with her about pretty much everything. There are some things we obviously wouldn’t tell her, but we try to be honest when answering questions she has/things that go on in life. 
Maybe wait until after her first day of school though, so she doesn’t worry.

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Tell her after school so she doesn't obsess over it

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I wouldn't tell her before she goes to school, she may worry all day instead of enjoying her first day. Once she comes back home I wouldn't lie to her, answer any questions she has. 
Next time something arises, I wouldn't tell her that you aren't taking her because you have work, I would give her a more vague answer like you have a doctor appointment or an errand or something. Because she may wonder why you didn't tell her the truth ect. Every kiddo is different, but I'm strict with no lying so if my 6yr old thinks I lied then he's not understanding why it's ok for me and not ok for him. He did that as a 4yr old. I don't lie to him, sometimes I have to simply tell him it's just not for him to know details right now. 
I'm not saying you did anything wrong by telling her you were working, I'm just suggesting some other options for future so it doesn't get confusing for her if lying is okay or not.

Answer

I would be honest. She won’t be upset if you just explain in high level and in a calm unemotional way. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for. I would never recommend covering things up or pretending something isn’t happening when it clearly is. I would think that would cause more concern. Good luck with it all :)

Advice needed: should I tell my 4 year old I’m having surgery? Read description

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