Hi! I just need some guidance/reassurance.

I breastfed my first for 13 months. I had 4 months off and before going back for my last semester of college (super part time.) and no other responsibilities. I always struggled with being the only one that could feed him or having to pump, and I was never an overproducer, I only pumped his exact bottles so I HAD to pump as many times as he ate, which in turn stressed me out.

Fast forward to now, I just had my second baby. He’s 15 days old. I thought breastfeeding would be easier the second time but now I’m finding it super hard/mentally draining to juggle breastfeeding and still having time for/taking care of my 2 year old. I go back to work in 6 weeks, so I have way less time to spend exclusively nursing and I am already stressed about having to pump as an RN (rarely get time to pee as it is.)

After struggling with the baby blues, I told myself I was going to switch to formula after I talked to his ped at his two week appt (yesterday.) all went well and I went and got the formula and everything. But now I’m feeling incredibly guilty that I CAN breastfeed, but I’m wanting to switch for the  convenience of not always having to be the only one that can feed him, having my body back for the first time in a long time and my mental health.

Can anyone relate? Any advice or guidance for me?