Husband feeling like a failure at being a dad
So my husband had a breakdown tonight after sitting down to feed our 10 week old son. Our son got fussy in the middle of a bottle so my husband went to go change him. Our little one has reflux and spit up some while my husband was changing his diaper. This happens when I change him too.
Anyways I have the baby monitor on and hear my husband shouting “Oh, come on! No, no, no ….ugh… come on!” over and over again. I pop my head into the nursery to see if he needs any help and my husband just starts breaking down about how he feels like he’s a failure of a dad, how he doesn’t feel like he’s getting the hang of this parenting thing and he’s afraid he can’t parent well. He says he looks at me and sees how I just know how to parent. He says he’s also now afraid to care for our son 😩
This is really hard for me to hear, but I’m glad he’s telling me. I’ve shared that sometimes my patience is tested with our life one and sometimes I don’t have the parenting thing down. I don’t always know what he’s crying for and that he spits up for me too. I’ve assured my husband that he is in no way, shape or form a bad parent. He ensures baby supplies are always stashed, diaper genies are emptied, our son’s surfaces are clean, that we’re fed, that I get my sleep and showers, etc. Our son absolutely adores my husband too - my husband gets all the smiles and cute coos! In my opinion he gets an A+ at being a dad. But for now I’ve told my husband that if he is feeling overwhelmed while tending to our son, place our son in his crib/bassinet or safe place and walk away to cool down. My husband does have high blood pressure and a zero patience with things. He is on medication for this.
My question is - does this sound like postpartum depression in dads? Or an excuse not to have to watch baby anymore. What would you tell my husband to cheer him up? Any recommendations on what to do other than therapy?
Thank you so much in advance!!