My memories are coming back


So I was hospitalised with pneumonia. I did not have COVID, but because of the amount of COVID patients they had no room for me in the hospital so I sat in the the ER with no shower for almost 3 days because I was so sick. Keep in mind just how sick I am like they are keeping me even though they have a shit ton of COVID-19 patients clogging them up, they kept me. And I was out of my mind and can BARELY Remember it all, it's slowly coming back and this is one of my first memories. If I did something rude or weird or even sound weird here, I can't really help that especially THEN when I was so damn sick. I still have pneumonia in all lobes of my lungs right now.

Finally, the day comes and I am transferred to another hospital and the first thing I ask for is a shower. I probably stunk so bad at that point and I was so greasy So I ask the nurse and she's like "oh of course you're probably dying for one. Give me a second to grab some tape so we can tape your IV and grab you some towels."

My boyfriend was with me the whole time, the whole time I was hospitalised unless he HAD to work. So she comes back with the towels and I start to undress and like just have my boyfriend come and help me undress I couldn't do ANYTHING without my oxygen, they had me hooked up to it and the second I took it off my face I just started declining but fuck, I felt NASTY and I was sick and crazy. At this point I have zero craps like the ER has dressed me and undressed me hooking me up to heart monitors and putting me into mesh panties because I didn't want to sit in dirty panties for days straight and that's all they could do for me. She comes back and tapes up my arm but looks confused to why I am already butt ass naked and standing there and had the shower head on hot. I figure it would have been so much more awkward like I've always thought about how weird it would be to be naked in front of medical staff/people you don't know. I had literally gotten off the ambulance and met her minutes before I was like well I'm disgusting so I Need a showeR. Like right now. When you're sick like that, you literally just don't care. You'd be surprised. While she tapes my IV, She asks me "are you okay with him being in here and helping you? I am completely capable of helping you shower." And I was like "oh he's already seen it all." Just pfft lol. She had me explain though that I not only consented but was comfortable and I had no issue letting her know. She still stuck around though because she's a good nurse. I just keep having these flashes of looking up and seeing her watching everything he did. I was leaned up on the wall for support not being able to breathe as he scrubbed my back and she tried to come in and help but I was like "no I'm okay I can stand here." And she backed up.

I am the most modest.. I guess that's not the right word but for me to be so carefree that I'm standing in front of this woman butt ass naked like it's no big deal.. that's A BIG DEAL FOR ME like obviously I lacked some oxygen. I am usually at least covered in some way with a towel and I was making solid eye contact with a person I did not know while naked. I totally just had a shower with a crowd, one watching and the other washing. Wild

She stands by the door as he washes my hair, my face, my arms and my legs and I wash between my legs. I am obviously very tired at this point and I step out of the shower and he wraps me in a towel and carried me back to the bed. The nurse started to leave when He was putting my clothes back on. She left when I was fully dressed and the last thing he was doing was putting my socks on me. I couldn't breathe but I felt so much damn better and I'm sincerely impressed with my man and how well he just took care of me. He grabbed a wash cloth and started scrubbing my face and it felt so good. It was so intimate but so pure. And that nurse stayed there the whole time I was being bathed by my boyfriend and never looked uncomfortable and I never felt uncomfortable. It felt normal for some reason.

It's so weird how memories like this are just coming back to my brain. They didn't have me on anything but antibiotics, steroids, Albuterol and blood thinners so it's not like I was high. I was just so sick that I was like well I don't care who sees me naked anymore I'll just get clean and get my oxygen and go back to sleep exactly like that, in that order.

Ooh god that shower was good though. I sweated so bad trying so hard to breathe for 2 days and I was just NASTY. That hot water and soap on my skin.. I went without good oxygen in my lungs for a fat ass minute to just enjoy that shower.