This is our first month back to ttc since we had an early miscarriage. Everyone I talk to says after they miscarried they wanted to start trying again right away. I think I’m feeling…. Jaded or something. It’s almost as if, if I decide not to try and quit TTC, I’m protecting myself from getting hurt again. And I’m in control. It’s like I’m trying to guard myself from all the pain that comes with ttc and as a result it makes me not want to try anymore…. BUT I still want to get pregnant and have a baby. But I know if I have the possibility of getting pregnant I will get my hopes up.

Idk what’s wrong with me. Please be kind. I’m just venting my feelings that confuse me and make no sense to me. Has anyone else experienced this? Like I want to not try at all because then I won’t get hurt. But then I’ll be heartbroken that were not trying and not getting pregnant. I’m at war with myself and it feels like heartbreak is the only option either way. I’m a wussy. I’m not cut out for TTC.