Help.. idk how to feel

My fiancé and I have a regular sex life, like 3-4 times a week. Nothing crazy. Today I decided to try something and put on lingerie and walked downstairs to surprise him, because he’s mentioned in the past that he wanted me to do that.

It stopped him mid sentence and we started making out. I told him to sit on a chair so I could suck him a little, for foreplay. Well he pulled his pants down and he was completely soft. I tried sucking for a solid minute, nothing changed so I took his phone and told him to pull up some porn. He did and we started kissing more

After about a minute of that he said “I’m sorry baby but nothings happening..” and I had to go change. He said it had nothing to do with me and that he felt really bad.

I get not being in the mood, but he didn’t stop me at first, it’s not like we hadn’t done that millions of times before…

It’s just a huge blow to my self esteem. He said it’s not me, but I can’t help but feeling like it is 😞 what do I do/how should I feel??