My boyfriends sister doesn’t make me feel welcome at all, primarily due to her negative attitude towards me. I have been nothing but nice to her and haven’t had any sort of impact on her day to day life nor have I said anything about her, yet she feels the need to call me a spoiled and ignorant due to the fact that I’m white and don’t have any siblings. Her view about me stems from the fact that she was bullied throughout school (primarily by white people) and she’s pinning other people’s racist actions on me and assuming that just because I’m white, I’m going to be racist towards her. (My boyfriend tries to validate her being racist towards me with the fact that she was bullied, and I can’t decide if that’s a ridiculous excuse or if I’m just supposed to accept her awful assumptions). I can’t understand how she could think that I would treat her like the others just because I’m white? And why would I be racist towards her if I’m dating her brother who is also Asian? I am very appreciative of my parents who are able to provide for me but a lot of the things that she has called me out on for being “spoiled” are things that I purchased on my own. Some examples of her considering me to be spoiled is during holidays such as Christmas and my birthday where I’m asked what I would like on those days, and on the rare occasion that I actually come up with something, it’s never crazy expensive. I found it quite funny that she used Christmas as an example for me being spoiled, but their family doesn’t even celebrate Christmas yet she still gets gifts anyway, along with getting hong bao (red envelopes) on Chinese New Year, and boasts about the gifts and money she gets on social media. The only thing that even relates me to being spoiled is the fact that I recently got surprised with a used car by my parents because I am moving out soon and I am lucky enough that my parents wanted to help me with the car payments and she had to ask my boyfriend if it was new or used… why would that matter to her? Im still paying for the majority of the car and she’s the one who got a brand new car right off of the lot that her parents paid for in full; Not to mention the fact that her parents bought a huge house in the same city she is going to college in just for her to live in and she took the master bedroom from her parents and won’t help pay for anything in the house - yet she has the nerve to call me spoiled because I’m white and paid for my own stuff? When she was in charge of getting groceries, she was given cash and whatever money she didn’t spend, she would pocket instead of give back to her parents and then use it for her own personal items, and even relied on my boyfriend to pay for her stuff, even when she had a job and was making money.

It has been very evident that she doesn’t like white people as she constantly bashes white people on social media and when talking to my boyfriend about eating at a certain restaurant said, “Gross, could you imagine being white and eating bland ass food?”.

Is it wrong of me to be upset over her assumptions when it feels like she’s being rather hypocritical and racist towards me due to events that I had nothing to do with? Why is my boyfriend giving his sister an excuse to be biased and racist towards me? Am I looking at the situation wrong? Should I do anything?