Hi, don’t know if this belongs here but could find a better spot for it.

We just started ttc our #2 this month, (our daughter is 16 months old), and I just now (2 DPO) started to struggle with very mixed feelings about the process.

Before ovulation I’m 100% sure that I want to get pregnant and try for a sibling; I take OPK’s, BBT, monitor my cervix and mucus and everything, but AFTER ovulation I got this immense feeling of regret and anxiety, and thoughts along the lines of “how can I try for a second baby, I already have one baby, how can I be the best mother for her if I would have another baby to take care of as well?!”

It’s very difficult emotionally to be torn and thrown between these two conflicting states of mind, to one day feel like “I’m ready, let’s try”, and then the next day feel like “noooo, what the h*ll was I thinking?!”

Did anyone ever feel like this while ttc? I think that it’s caused by hormones since the shift happens after ovulation, but I don’t know which “state” is the “correct” one… How do you really know that you are ready for #2, can you truly be 100% ready or will you always to some degree feel like you are “letting your first baby down” by having another?

We have a wish of having the first two (at least) somewhat close in age, between 2-3 years, so that the siblings can have a report early on and follow each other later in life as well. Now I’m starting to think that maybe 2 years is too little for us considering my emotions about it all… If we get the BFP this month the gap would be 2 years and 1 month, and now I feel like my first baby will still be a baby by then?!

Ugh, this TWW has been full of anxiety and incredibly hard on me mentally, much more so than the regular pins and needles. Would appreciate any type of support, or to hear that anyone else have felt similarly. Right now I feel like I just want my period to come, but that gives me feelings of shame, because what if it wont… 😩