I get dissapointed everything I see a negative

I know this sounds weird, but there hasn't been a month where I haven't peed on that dam stick, every month is a new sign, and my husband says I need to buy big packages of it 😒. There are months that I test, t least 2 a week, I need to stop because it's so sad when the big negative shows up. I had a miscarage at the beginning of the year. And my husband says we should wait to have kids but every month I have hope.  Is this just me ? Am I goin crazy with this pregnant thing.