I can't live with his ex wife's ghost haunting us

I know my post might sound crazy and insecure..

Whenever my boyfriend and I go to eat I always seen to get stuck with the more expensive bill. And honestly it's starting to get to me a lot. He considers me this independent woman who doesn't need anything from anybody but honestly it would be nice to be spoiled. He had an ex wife who he spoiled like crazy. Little backstory: she got pregnant right after high-school and always been a house wife. Never worked a single day I'm his life. He bought her everything, anything she wanted she got it craved something? She got it. Even a joint bank account with money that she can use as she pleases.

He was able to do that all for her and for me it's a struggle? I can't live with the ghost of his ex wife. It haunts me daily. It bothers me how he can't do not even the slightest of what he did for her for me. He always talks about how in his lowest moments in his life I've the one holding him down, loving him unconditionally. Okay and now I'm realizing its useless.

When he hangs with his friends he invites them. He splurgeds on them! One day we went out to eat and he saw his friends in that restaurant. He invited his friends a couple of beers sent to their table. He payed. Guess who payed for our date? Me!!!

Is he just using me? Or what the point of even being together. Honestly his ex wife's ghost haunts me daily. He has kids with her so she will always be there. You would think the person whose been there for you through the worst and showed you the most love you would show off, love unconditionally back, splurge too - but no. It's not like that...

From what he tells me she clearly doesn't want anything with him anymore, has him blocked on mostly everything, is very dry when he talks or sees the kids. But deep down I feel he is the one that wants with her.... He cheated on her with multiple woman that's why they aren't togethor. He always tells me (sober and extremely drunk) how I changed him so much to want to be a better man and he has never done anything to sabotage our relationship. Sometimes I believe it, sometimes I don't. Once he got so drunk he cried to me telling me how if I was at his lowest I deserve to be there during his best. That was months ago. I believed it then. But now I don't know....

We've been togethor for almost 2 years and him wanting her is on my mind daily more now...