My parents have a really toxic relationship. “Dad” is emotionally and financially abusive, controlling, narcissistic behavior, addict - Mom lets dad walk all over her, is completely in denial that she is being abused, easily manipulated etc. I moved out last month and I was scared to move because I didn’t want him to convince her to cut ties with me. I also was worried about her feeling alone because I didn’t want her to really lose herself with no one to talk to - as she told me I’m the only person she can talk to without being told to “just leave”. I talked to my boyfriend’s dad and he told me I should stop taking on her problems because she doesn’t want to be saved. Since taking space from her, I realized he was right. Like she calls me ALLLLL the time, for hours, to talk about him. I do it because I feel bad. But then runs right back to him. Every weekend they have a major blowout fight and then have “smaller” arguments all week. She’s so set on staying with him that she almost becomes delusional and makes no sense when she talks. All it takes is one of his (THOUSAND) empty promises to stop drinking or to get better and she falls for it EVERY TIME. She talks for hours but then ignores any advice.

Like this weekend, he told her he was moving out because he couldn’t stand her “making him evil”, then left for all of a few hours, then came back with a bullshit story saying his mom went into a home (which wasn’t even true!!!!) only a few hours later, crying and saying he “loves everyone”. She called me for two hours to talk about it and then when I met her to spend time with her at a family party, it’s ALL she talked about for hours then too. At the end, she tells me he just needs help and that “only strong people ask for help”. I just stared at her. the next day she tells me everything is just great and she’s so hopeful. She bought into all his lies. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I try really hard to be sympathetic, because I understand the abuse cycle, but I feel like I want to smack some sense into her.