My son will be 18 next month.

I never thought I’d be the mom who kicked her son out at 18, but right now I don’t see any other options. Here’s a little background:

We lived in Washington state, where marijuana is legal and it was there that I found out my son was smoking weed with his friends. I didn’t realize how bad it was until he started “running away” and would come back hours later high. This was about two years ago. He stopped going to school, stopped following rules, and stopped telling me he loved me. Because of this, my husband and I (his stepdad) started arguing all the time because he wanted me to kick him out and I refused. He was only 16 at the time and his biological dad is an alcoholic and a drug addict who thinks he’s above the law. Eventually, my husband and I agreed that we would never be on the same page, so we divorced and I decided to move to Florida. Partly to get away from my ex, partly to get my son away from the drugs and his friends who were providing the drugs. My cousin graciously let us into her home.

Fast forward a year. My son was forced into drug counseling by the state of Florida because he admitted to his therapist that he smoked weed when we lived in Washington. He went an entire year without smoking because he didn’t have any connections. Our relationship grew stronger and he started getting his life back on track. But he met drug contacts while he was in drug counseling because it was group counseling. It all went downhill from there. He started meeting up with drug dealers in front of my cousin’s house, smoking weed in her house, he dropped out of high school, and won’t follow any rules. He also started getting into harder drugs like Molly and meth, but the meth was accidental because the dealer told him it was Molly. The meth got him put into the hospital in ICU because he overdosed. Children’s services got involved at that point and took him out of the home upon his release from the hospital and he got put straight into a foster home. I was heartbroken. Not only did the realization that my son could have died hit me, but I also got him taken away because of HIS actions. I also faced legal charges because children’s services felt I hadn’t been doing enough to prevent his drug use ( they said I should have called the police on him whenever I caught him smoking weed or doing other drugs), but luckily that hasn’t happened, yet. I also need to add that I also have a 15 year-old daughter. That’s important because he’s brought these drug dealers to my cousin’s house, putting us all at risk, including his little sister.

I finally got him back after a month on the condition that I turn him in if I catch him doing drugs again, but I can’t bring myself to ruin any possible future he might have. If he gets himself into trouble after he’s 18, that’s on him, but I can’t be the one who puts him in jail right now. That’s too much for me to handle right now.

But my cousin is fed up and has asked us to leave.

I honestly don’t make enough money to afford my own place, but I’m trying to figure it out. I know that once we’re in our own place, things won’t be any better. I worry that we’ll get kicked out no matter where we live because he just doesn’t care. He’s missed the last four days of work because he’s been so high that he can’t even function. My cousin’s entire house smells like weed because he smokes all day every day unless he’s asleep. The smell also makes me extremely nauseous to the point where I’m constantly on the verge of puking all day long because the smell never goes away. He doesn’t care though, he doesn’t listen. No matter what I say to him or do.

I’ve tried taking his phone away, I’ve threatened to kick him out too, but in reality, I can’t bring myself to do that because he literally has no place to go. No family, no friends except his drug dealers maybe, and he only makes minimum wage at McDonalds, that is unless he gets fired for never going to work. I can’t afford therapy, I’ve tried and I ended up deeply in debt because it’s just too expensive. We’ve never been able to go long enough for it to be effective because I can’t pay. I’m at a loss here.

I need advice!