Why do I feel this way?

Question

I feel some weird type of responsibility to my kids 24/7 and tend to just see my husband as like a temporary caregiver or babysitter. 
Like when I take a shower or get ready I feel the need to rush through it and relieve him of watching them. When they scream or cry (they’re 3 and 1) I always jump in. They’re all over me constantly and leave him alone and when they bother him or annoy him I step in. Like last night our 3 year old was really fighting his sleep and didn’t want to go to bed and my husband was losing his patience and getting frustrated and I stepped in and took over. I know this isn’t right but like I can’t stop myself. 
I never feel okay leaving them with him either. If I have an appointment or something I rush home as fast as I can to take over. He’s never been alone with them for more than an hour or two. 
Why am I like this?

Answer

Could be a number of reasons. The only time I feel like this is when my husband is “off”. Like he had a hard day or something so I can tell he’s more impatient or not as engaged. Otherwise he has shown me time and time again that he’s a more than capable parent and I love when the kids are with him, it’s the only time I feel I can really relax. Maybe it’s something in your husband’s behavior that makes you feel like you need to be there for them all the time? That you don’t observe him handling things with the same attentiveness as you or he is just watching them not playing with them or he loses his patience when dealing with them. If it is you could talk to him about it. Otherwise work on yourself, slow down, talk yourself through not stepping in. You’ll run yourself into the ground if you never get to turn off and if you have another capable parent around, use it! And tell yourself it’s important for your kids to see him as a parent too.

Answer

I’d love to see what other people respond to this post, because I feel the same way a lot - except with my wife. I’m a first time mom as of just recently. Maybe it’s because we gave birth to them and we are the primary care givers (on maternity leave) while they’re at work? So we feel like it’s our main role rather than theirs? I also worry when my baby boy (5 weeks old ) irritates my wife by being niggly and crying - even though rationally I know she can totally deal with it. 
Maybe we want to prove ourselves as well as competent mothers who don’t “need” help - that we can do it all by ourselves and keep the stress and extra pressure off our partners?no idea - like I said - can’t wait to hear what other people’s input is on this one lol

Answer

I feel this way. Maybe it’s because we know we’re better at certain things and we want things done a certain way and we’re particular about our routines. 😭🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I feel this way sometimes. Not to the full extent, but I have control issues and I just feel like no one will care for him as well as me, even his dad.

Answer

I think this is pretty common.

Answer

Do you know what the concern is? Are you worried he’ll get angry with them? Are you worried he doesn’t know what to do or won’t do things the “right” way? Are you worried that they’ll miss you? Do you miss them?

Why do I feel this way?

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