My mom moved in with us in 2019 bc she can’t live by herself, super forgetful with the water and stove etc. Anyways, she was living in a granny flat but we just moved and now we are all living under one roof. I’m struggling with implementing boundaries with her. She really over steps her bounds, little things like doing the kids laundry and putting it away, doing the dishes but not well, like putting them in the dishwasher with food on it still, coming in as the good cop if one of the kids is in time out, she orders the kids groceries, and this morning she completely rearranged some of my cabinets. I feel silly even complaining after I’ve written it out but I don’t say anything to her expect that she doesn’t have to do that stuff. I know she is just trying to help but it undermines me and creates more work for me in the end. She is a very fragile person in general so when I have brought up stuff in the past she completely shuts down and cries and says I don’t let her help with anything which is such utter bullshit. There are just certain things I’m particular about and I really just need her to stay in her own lane.

Any advice???