Unsupportive mother.
Okay, so my other has never really thought of me as a individual, it's like she somehow thinks her exact self was planted into me when I was born instead of being my own person. Because of abusive situations (with both my dad and her) I grew up really fast. Eventually I went into foster care at age 15 and was able to relax and learn to be happy, and then I met my husband. Ever since we started our relationship she has been against me in a relationship. Never really ever hanging out with me, let alone my husband (then boyfriend). She kept telling me "I just want you to be happy" and it was upsetting because I actually was happy (still am) and she just didn't seem to understand.
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When we got engaged (2 years of dating and 4 years of knowing each other very well) the first thing she told me was, "you're ruining your life and you can't get married because you're too young". At that time we were living together, working, and paying all our bills while she lived off of the system. She tried to get me to call off the wedding for a year until she decided to accept it 6m before the wedding.
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Everyone else that knows us and hangs out with/talks to us regularly were/are happy for us. In fact since we're in college and many of our young friends are away from family we are a surrogate home base for many of them. (One of our friends jokingly calls us "mom" and "dad" because we're just such mother hens about making sure everyone is taken care of.)
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I know that the people who know our relationship and support us knowing who we are are who's opinions matter. But we're planning on TTC in the near future and I'm so scared of what my mom will say when I tell her. The thing is no one but my husband and I know she's this way because she's such a smooth talker and makes herself look so good in front of family. It's been 2 years since our engagement, and I still get upset about having called her first and getting that response. However I know she'll be even more mad if she's not the first to know... What do I do?
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