Do you know what I really hate

The way that my ex treated me. He was horrible to me and used to call me nasty names, he would shut me down whenever I tried to voice my feelings or tell him I was hurt or unhappy. He would tell me I was useless and a waste of space. He physically hurt me a few times and always denied it afterwards. He never claimed responsibility for anything he did or put me through and I ended up thinking that maybe it wasn’t as bad as what it actually was, so I found myself making excuses for him. We lived together in my house until he bought ‘us’ a house. So I gave up my house to live in his house with the belief that we would always be together, we had a child together and that’s when it got worse (please don’t lecture me for moving into his house and having a child when he was already horrible to me-it’s already happened so there’s no point in telling me what I already know now and I can’t change the past-as much as I’d like to) he put me and our child out so many times I lost count, he knew I’d always go back because I had nowhere else to go. He used that house to fuel his power trips. My biggest regret is giving up my home to go and live with him! So, I finally left and found another place, he moved on and got with someone else weeks after I left which makes me wonder if he already had her waiting on the sidelines for when I’d gone. I bent over backwards to try and make that man happy, I did everything for him and even put his needs before my own every single time even though I was treated like shit. It makes me so mad that I’m sat in this new house that doesn’t even feel like home, I’m lonely and wondering what I did to deserve this shit, when he’s living it up with his new girlfriend, knowing everything he put me through. It’s still early days with his new girlfriend but he’s giving her all the love and attention and I’m alone. He doesn’t deserve to be happy! I do! He’s moved on so quick, in the space of 4 months he’s got with her, met her family, she’s met his, they’re all playing happily little families, totally ignoring the fact that he’s just come out of an 8 year relationship. I suppose I’m bitter but I don’t care. He put me through so much pain I want him to suffer for it!! Surely I deserve happiness 🥺