I’m leaving my abusive relationship of 5 years right now

I’m sitting in the airport as we speak. I feel very confused and sad. I feel guilt and shame and regret. I feel all alone. I don’t even know where I’m headed….literally and figuratively.

Update: I’m in baltimore; my sister lives about an hour away. I’m so conflicted. I haven’t been able to bring myself to call her yet. I have, unfortunately, been in contact with my SO, who basically gave me an ultimatum to come home now. He also accused me of lying, not being where I said I was, cheating on him, and still being in contact with my ex (from FIVE years ago).