I will never forget doing the math and figuring out that the baby’s due date would be September 17th. We went to the first ultrasound when I was 11 weeks 6 days, and the woman told us that the due date would need to be changed to September 19th because of the baby’s measurements, which wasn’t a big deal. She was a little small. She had a strong heartbeat and everything was great.

I spotted a little bit throughout my pregnancy, so when I woke up to spotting on April 4th, I didn’t think anything of it. It stopped a few hours later. My husband & I had sex that night, so when I had more on the 5th, I assumed it was from that. It didn’t let up. I went to the hospital & they confirmed that the worst had happened. I had a D&E 3 days later. About 2 weeks after that, we found out the baby was a girl. Her name is Winnipeg Jean. She had Down Syndrome. Other than that, there was nothing out of the usual. She just wasn’t strong enough & my body did what it thought was best. I will never forgive my body for betraying me and my baby.

It makes it difficult to put any faith in it while trying again. It’s been 5 months on the 21st since we started trying again with no luck yet.

Tomorrow, we are going to celebrate our baby girl by having a little cupcake and donating to a Down Syndrome charity in honor of her. I miss her more and more every day, and I will love her forever.👼🏻🧸💖