Feeling like a shitty friend - need advice

Am I in the wrong?

I know part of me is wrong in this story but basically my friend was having a birthday party (we’ve been friends for at least 20 years now) and she lives an hour away now because we both live with our boyfriends. Her celebration (at a bar) is an hour away from me and it’s at night and I did say I could go but then told her I have anxiety driving in the dark at night as I would only be able to stay for an hour. So I would be driving there an hour, staying an hour or so then driving back as I am car sitting my parents cats. She said she understood and invited me to go to the mall with her and another friend the next day. I was like eh I think I can make it! Now I admit I was going back and fourth but my anxiety was getting worse and worse about driving in the dark and for so long.

Anyway, I texted her around 5pm asking what her address was so I could hit the road and she never answered me. Then I was like well it seems like it will be too much and I was just so tired so I was like I don’t think I’m going but I can hangout with you tomorrow at the mall. I apologized for being so annoying and indecisive and all she said was “no problem!”

Now I know I’m at fault here too! But I was an after thought and was the one who reached out to her about plans about her birthday and she already had these plans with other friends and just invited me to tag along…so I just was added to the plans really. Mind you last year for her birthday I did a cute day picnic for her and I don’t expect anything in return but she would not ever do the same.

Idk am I overthinking?