Anyone adopted?

Question

If you are when did you find out and how? My husband and I are wanting to adopt a child and my husband feels that we should never tell them and I disagree I think that they should know when they are ready. Opinions anyone? We have 3 children of our own but I would love to adopt an infant. TIA

Answer

I'm adopted at birth from South Korea. I love my family however I would inform you that adoptees struggle with a lot of mental health issues and identity problems. I don't think people should adopt outside their ethic background because culture is a very important key to identity. If you do adopt you should read a lot about what adoptees go through as they grow and mature. And if you do adopt outside your ethnicity you should get well aquatinted with that culture.

Answer

I was adopted when I was 5 but I loved with my mom (foster mom) since I was 2mo old and it took that long she said it was a huge prosses

Answer

I'm not adopted but I have 3 siblings that are. They all know they are adopted and knew from a young age. You should never try to hide the truth IMO.

Answer

I'm adopted. Ever since I was young my parents always made it apparent that I was. I was born in Mexico and they would make sure to include Mexican customs and traditions into the "American" lifestyle. It was never a secret and I'm glad it wasn't. Growing up I've never felt different. Honestly it hardly phases me that my mom is white And I'm brown. My sister is adopted too. 
A good friend of mine has a daughter by one man and her other two children by her now husband. She does. It want to tell her first born she's from another man. I feel so sorry for that child when she finds out (she's probably 8 or 9 now). In my opinion they will find out no matter what and it just turns into a "will they be angry with you" when they do. Better make it known that they are unconditionally loved but not from YOUR insides. They'll have to know for health reasons down the road. Family history  comes up a lot as an adult.

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Foster care never adopted

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I am adopted. I don't remember how old I was when I was told, it was just something I always knew. I would tell them. They're going to have to know if a doctor asks them for family history of medical concerns, etc. I'd think it would be better to tell them early on rather then later because then they might think they're whole entire life was a huge lie.

Answer

I think you should tell the child because everyone deserves to know where they came from. I also think that if the child is from a different country you should embrace the culture and learn everything you can about it that way if the child has any questions in the future you can answer them

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I accidentally found out that I was adopted and was completely heartbroken. I found out January of this year and I turned 17 in April. My parents did tell me, but when I was 2, 3, and 5 years old. They were planning on telling me this summer after I finished junior year, because they know how hard school is for me and they didn't want to add any more stress. Please, don't hide it from your children. Let them know and let them stay in contact with their birth parents if they want to be. My adoptive parents are my real parents and nothing will ever change that. I did ask if I could find my birth mother and they agreed, so we started the process and there's only about 3 or 4 weeks left. I want to have a relationship with my birth family because I want to know where I come from and where I get my traits and what makes me, me. My birth mother knew she couldn't give me a good life at 17 and I'm beyond happy and blessed that my parents adopted me. It shouldn't be a secret, they deserve to know.

Answer

I was adopted and my parents told me all along as i grew up using words and concepts i was able to understand at that stage. The eirlest I can remember is around 3 years old, and I remember my mom telling me that I'm her baby and she's my mommy in nice/loving ways that helped my little brain to understand that. I would sometimes question it, and I specifically remember her telling me "you didn't come from my tummy, but you came from another lady's tummy." She was always sure to remind me positivley that my birth mother loved me so much, and that so does she. She always rememered to use positive language, and avoided saying things that could hurt me. I believe all those things are important, and I'm glad she did that. I see no reason to wait until a child is older to tell them they are adopted. That will only cause resentment, confussion, and anger. It needs to be known and there needs to be an open communication in the house to discuss issues or feelings the child may have. By waiting till the child is older, they may fear you are hiding other secrets from them, and/or they may feel ashamed about it.

Answer

I think you should tell the child. Unless you adopt an infant and absolutely nobody sees you for 9 months everybody's going to know the child is adopted. That means at any time in the child's life somebody will tell them that they are adopted. It is a huge shock and adjustment for kids to find out they are adopted. They will still feel loved and like your children even if they know.

Anyone adopted?

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