Denying a baby shower?

Question

So my mother and aunts got together with my best friend and they are trying to throw me a baby shower. I just don’t want one. I’m not a fan of parties or celebrating myself and I don’t really want the attention. I’ve told all of them I just don’t want it, I even tried to blame it on Covid but they said they would be arrangements for less people and for it to be outside. But I just really do not want it and it’s stressing me out. Basically advice please? And also for the poll, am I wrong for denying it is it rude of me and should I just appreciate it even though it will make me VERY uncomfortable?

Answer

Would it help if you think of it as celebrating baby and not you? Kinda like how a birthday party will work when you’re a mom? Obviously just do what you want, but you might one day regret not having the memory. At least I would! Plus the gifts are niceee

Answer

If they want to throw you a party maybe compromise with them? No baby games, unwrapped gifts so you don’t have to sit there & unwrap for an hour, things like that. 
Because of covid, we did a drive by thing. Everyone stopped by our place and dropped off gifts, said a quick hello, and then went back to my MIL house and they had a party over there. We FaceTimed to say hi and thank everyone. Baby still got some goodies and we felt comfortable knowing we were staying safe. It was quick and painless. 
 But at the end of the day you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Just let them know with enough time & that you’re serious so they don’t spend a bunch of money planning something you don’t want. ❤️

Answer

At the end of the day it’s about YOUR baby. It’s your right to say no if you don’t want to. But I think you should also keep in mind that while yes, it’s your baby, it’s also their niece/nephew/grandchild. They’re excited! That’s a good thing! And you’re blessed to have people that want to celebrate such a blessing with you and for you. Personally, I would probably suck it up and let them have their fun. It’s one day out of your life and it’s not like they get to throw a baby shower for you 10 more times. It’s a rare occasion and it’s a beautiful thing to celebrate.

Answer

My MIL wanted to throw me a baby shower with her friends and people I didn't know in attendance, I just flat out said No, and that I wouldn't be attending. She told me I could just drop off her grandson and that I didn't have to attend 🥲🥴 Haha FML. At the end of the day it didn't happen because I didn't want it. I would just keep restating yourself. I think your family has good intentions, unlike my MIL, but if you really don't want it maybe suggest something like going out for lunch together and exchanging gifts if they want.

Answer

I didn’t have one and I didn’t die lol my family wanted to throw one for me as well and invite tons of people I don’t know or don’t particularly like and none of my friends or husbands family would be able to attend because we just moved states so the only people near us is my family and their friends who have nothing to do with me so I respectfully declined and yes they kept asking and prying on it hoping for a different answer but I still respectfully said I didn’t want to so I didn’t and I don’t regret it at all. I saved myself and my family the money to arrange and decorate the event, I saved myself the stress of making sure everything is perfect and everyone is enjoying themselves and making sure I looked perfect hair and makeup and outfit wise, and I saved myself from having to find storage for all the gifts because I only have space for what baby is going to need as she enters each developmental phase. We ended up just getting everything baby needed ourselves because im a control freak and I want a specific kind and color of EVERYTHING even down to the diapers so im better off not receiving gifts that I wouldn’t really want or use that’s why we set up a registry so anyone that wanted to help out could and it would be put to good use because it’s exactly what I’d want. I get what people are saying about it being a celebration for the baby who they’re excited about but at the end of the day YOU are carrying the baby and YOU need to be as stress free and happy as possible so YOUR baby is healthy and happy. Baby comes first and if you’re stressed out the whole time for the sake of other people who are NOT pregnant to have fun dress up and enjoy the food and alcohol then that’s not putting baby first. Do what makes you feel comfortable 🤎

Answer

I told my family no lol

Answer

I also don’t like attention like that, so I asked that any gifts be brought unwrapped. This meant that 1) it’s better for the environment and 2) I didn’t spend a huge chunk of time unwrapping gifts while women pretended to be interested. Instead, I got to see some family and friends and have some cake. It was very low-key and I got stuff I needed for the baby. 
But, if you are adamant, just keep telling them. They might not understand, but they don’t have to.

Answer

Maybe a compromise? Virtual? That way you don’t have to physically be around anyone but in camera for shorter time frames. The party is for the baby. Would this work for you?

Answer

If you really dont want it, say that specifically. “I dont want a baby shower.” Dont blame stuff just say you appreciate the gesture but really dont want it. I dont think it is rude because maybe you dont feel well or maybe itll stress you or for whatever reason. My kids birthday are all around my due date and i kind of dont want to do a party because im already tired at 27 weeks i imagine ill be worst around 35-37 weeks. So idk i get the being too tired to party. I think normally i would tell you to just appreciate it but honestly as a pregnant uncomfortable tired mom I understand. So if you dont feel well i think its not rude to say no

Answer

Omg up until just now I thought I was the only one with feelings like this! I know exactly what you mean and feel!

Denying a baby shower?

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