I was molested by an older man that worked at my daycare when I was 6. I never told my mom about it until I was 13. She had heard some stories about him following a young girl into the bathroom and touching another girls butt while he was working at the elementary school and she had asked me if I knew of anything like that happening when I was a kid. I guess I repressed that memory very well because I never really thought about it until she asked me about the other situations. Once I told her, CPS interviewed me and wanted me to testify in court. I never went through with it because it was all too overwhelming for me to deal with and I just didn’t want to talk about it again. I’m 21 now and hadn’t seen him since I was about 14 and even then it was just a quick glance and he was gone. About a month ago my mom and I were about to walk into a restaurant when she spotted him through the window and quickly made us turn around so i didn’t really have the chance to see him but it still freaked me out to know that he was back in town (he moved to new york after more allegations were made against him.) A week after my 21st birthday (August 25th) my family had a birthday dinner for me at a local restaurant. I didn’t have the best day at work earlier that day so I really wasn’t in the mood to be around everyone. I saw him and his family come in the restaurant and sit somewhat close to us. I instantly got overwhelmed with a sick feeling and couldn’t eat my food because I felt so sick. I know my mom saw him and i watched her make the mention about seeing him to my grandma who also instantly looked over in his direction. After about 10 minutes of just sitting there and trying not to throw up I started crying in front of my family and friends (never felt so embarrassed in my life.) My grandpa was leaving early and offered to take me home but I would have had ti walk by his table and I was too scared to even move. I watched the man walk to the bathroom that was by our table and i felt like i couldnt breath because i was so scared of him looking at me. Ever since then I’ve been terrified of seeing him anywhere else or even having him come into my restaurant job because i don’t know what i would do. A couple days ago a man came into my work and I had to do a double take because I thought it was the man who molested me. The man who molested me has a long white beard identical to santa’s (this guy has even played the role of santa at some events, which makes me sick even thinking about.) All of this is just causing me a lot of anxiety and stress and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if i need advice or what but i definitely just needed to vent 😔