Have You Ever Been Cheated On?

Question

If you’re willing to share, how has being cheated on affected your relationships afterwards, or your feelings about romantic relationships in general?

Answer

I was cheated on and the women who was cheating with my prtner was 10 years older. She sat in my living room telling me xyz. I said my partner would never cheat. “she said never put anything past a man.” And till this day it has stuck with me. Not just her but others situations too. Soooo mannnnnny women getting cheated on i truly believe there are few faithful men. Alot of men are as faithful as their options. 
     This has made me understand the only person u can truly know inside and out is yourself. Always look out for yourself. Never put yourself in a position where someone can destroy you. Example  i do plan on being a sahm mom for a few years… but i will absolutely make sure I always have a plan B. My husband is the type that he could never just abandon with children me even if he cheated. He not that type of man… but no matter what I always believe women should always have a plan because there is just soooo many examples to help us navigate. I also put myself as a priority.

Answer

I have been cheated on by every single relationship I’ve ever been in, if not abused, physically or emotionally, financially you name it. I didn’t wanna be alone, and then got away with murder. Has it affected me negatively, no, it taught me to stop tolerating bullshit, and taught me to be independent, and taught me that a man does not complete me, I complete myself, that I don’t need a man to pamper me or do anything for me in reality I can do it myself. I complete myself. It made me stronger, it gave me a sense of independence and strength.I have healed and some of the most unorthodox to Ways, I became a dominatrix to get over an abusive relationship. It was the most liberating, freeing, it boosted my confidence, my self-esteem, I no longer felt like a victim, I was finally in control of my life, and I stop tolerating bullshit. I’ve had one hell of a life from childhood on earth, from my father dying when I was four, sexually abused at eight, I was an alcoholic by the age of 12, every eating disorder, self harm, rape, two miscarriages, I can go on and on, there’s pretty much nothing I can’t relate to. Has it made me bitter, absolutely not, has it made me a victim any longer, absolutely not I am not a victim, I am victorious, I am a survivor, I am a warrior. It’s made me a better person. Do I have trust issues no I do not, I’ve healed from all of my past. My past does not sabotage my future or current relationships. Am I Bitter, resentful, etc. absolutely not, I joke and say things like I hope he gets fucked in the ass with a cactus because that’s what he deserves, but in all honesty I couldn’t care less about any of my exes. I’m sure Karma got them, and they will eventually get what they deserve. I’ve never had to seek revenge on anyone, the first guy that ever hit me, the next woman after me even herpes to the mouth in the crotch, I heard another one￼￼’s miserable stories from another friend, not my problem. I’m 43, couldn’t be happier in a relationship with another man, I’ve known him 20 years, it was perfect timing. Finally single. I was always in a relationship back to back with somebody or taking the time to heal or in some kind of anti-man phase, etc. but it was perfect timing, because he’s 16 years older than me, and had he approached me when I was younger, I would’ve just looked at him like the creepy old man, and his kids are grown in college, they’re no longer little ones, but needs to be babysit or anything else, they are out of the house. So it’s like we’re single and enjoying each other, we’re both grown, we’re both homeowners, business owners etc. it’s a different story than when I was 20. Life is what you make it, if you aren’t happy, you change what you can, and what you can’t change l, you learn to love, accept and embrace yourself flaws and all. ￼￼

Answer

A few things that I learned myself or from other womens situations from men unexpectedly cheating ……or women being in a relationship they have no help to exit….
1. Finances. Make sure you can survive alone. Have an emergency savings. If you cohabitating, have children, dont work, etc then always have a plan b. If u have kids and arnt married and u truly love the man and he is good to u… marry to have yourself covered financially. If u cohabitating make sure the other person not mooching off u and that the arrangement advantages u financially and physically. 
2. Sexual Health. Even while married I still get my womens annual and std panel. Why? Because i value my body and health. And I will always take care of myself. 
3. Always think of being able to stand on your own two feet. A partner can and does enhance life but things can happen. Death. Cheating. Change of heart and wanting to exit the relationship. Anything. So take care of yourself as a women and always make sure youre good.
4. Dont give what you may regret later if the person leaves. Cosigning cars, houses, etc is a no unless u would be ok footing the bill if they fail to pay or leave u. When relationships end… women yell I gave you everything! I did this and that and this! Welll ladies… why? You are responsible for you. Dont overgive. Dont give what u wouldnt be comfortable losing! 
5. Always have your own life and plan. Use birth control and adequate contraception when necessary. 
6. Stay connected to friends and family. 
7. Always take time for yourself. Invest in self care and love. 
8. A relationship should not constantly deplete you. It should be mutually beneficial. And read relationship books… because just because youre a women doesnt mean you are always right. Learn, adjust, and become better and be a good partner.
Those are a few golden rules for me!

Answer

I have & it messed up my trust with relationships for a LONG time. I stayed to myself awhile & avoided commitment for quite some time. When I did meet a good guy (my partner) I had a wall up for awhile, I didn’t want to make him pay for my past but it was just difficult for me. Dating after being cheated on is scary I wouldn’t wish anybody being cheated on at all.

Answer

Yes I have. I now have a very strict boundary when it comes to trust-if I don’t trust the guy or he doesn’t trust me, the relationship is over. If we do anything that breaks trust, like snooping through the others phone, it’s over. It’s not healthy being in a relationship without trust and I won’t go through that again.

Answer

I have and it made me choose more wisely. Now I’m happily engaged to an amazing man who treats me with so much love and respect.

Answer

Yes and it affected my mental health a lot. That had never happened to me before and I couldn’t deal. It made me super agitated, hyper vigilant, anxious, angry. I’m in therapy for it because it really did mess me up.

Have You Ever Been Cheated On?

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