I regret it...

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. & I’m lowkey regretting it, I know it sounds bad as he’s my boyfriend but he honestly treats me like shit. I know I should move on and dump him but I can’t. I regret not waiting for someone that would truly love me and would treat me like I should be treated.

I sent him the good afternoon text around 1pm and he never replied. I texted him again around 10pm said that I didn’t know why he hasn’t replied back but I hope he’s good and good night. A few minutes after he calls me and he does apologize saying he was busy and all. Everything is good and he asked about my day and likewise. We recently found out someone is sick, I don’t know the full details as I just found out over the weekend. We’re going on a trip this weekend and this guy (J) is going too. I asked my bf some details about the trip since my bf and J are the ones driving. So I asked my bf about the driving arrangements so J came up on the conversation so my bf asked how I saw J referring to him being sick. I haven’t seen J for almost a month so I told my boyfriend will I don’t remember how he looked like since I haven’t seen him for a while now but I said I noticed his eyes. That’s when my bf got upset. He was like okay bye. I’m going to sleep bye. I was like why? Why? What happened? I was so confused. The fact that I said I noticed the guys eyes. Got him so mad. He didn’t even let me explain as I was going to say that I noticed the guy’s eyes looked like when someone is sick. He just kept saying bye I have to work tomorrow bye. I had tears coming down my face as I didn’t even know why he got upset as I was answering his question as to how I saw J.

He has always been like his, we barely text or call since I’m always the one to reach out, if I don’t he won’t contact me .

Btw I have no interest in J. I unfortunately love my boyfriend too much, to ever cheat on him or even leave him, I know I deserve better. Also J is married and I think he even has a kid but idk.

I feel like why would I give him my virginity something so special to me.

Do y’all think I’m overreacting and going to far saying I regret having sex with him?